Do you have a narcissistic parent?
The question emerges from a piece by Emma O’Friel, published in our Health section this morning. In the article, O’Friel explores what is known as “family scapegoating” - a sort of blame-game which can occur within family dynamics.
“Dr Jane Hollingsworth, a clinical psychologist in Virginia, US, describes family scapegoating as typically involving a needy, narcissistic parent (often the mother) whose ego is grounded in portraying a certain image. A child who threatens this image is targeted by the parent to make them comply. What constitutes a threat can be a seemingly innocuous detail – birth order, similarities, differences, physical appearance, even the child having a birth date close to that of the narcissistic parent. The scapegoat child, for whatever reason, evokes a negative feeling in the parent – jealousy, dislike, regret – that the parent is unable to confront in themselves and is socially unacceptable. A more palatable explanation is that the child is to blame, and must change or be punished.”
There are key characteristics of “family scapegoating”, which can endure into adulthood. They include: the scapegoating parent is a fragile, needy, often narcissistic personality; a difference is noted in one child, who threatens the parent’s image and the family myth; and a double standard is set up with different rules for the scapegoat.
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If you feel you identify with the above themes, or the ones explored in more depth within O’Friel’s article, The Irish Times would like to hear about your experiences.
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