The wetsuit is beyond doubt the essential fashion accessory for Irish beaches this dodgy summer, writes Frank McNally

If you venture anywhere near an Irish beach this summer, you might find yourself thinking that a new life form has evolved there, crawling out of the sea and adapting to conditions on land.

The species is undeniably humanoid, but it appears to have much higher resistance to cold water than the average person, and increased buoyancy too.

Its young frolic like seal pups, while the adult male - especially if it's over 40 and carrying a beer belly - sometimes resembles a walrus that has been taught to stand upright.

Only close inspection reveals that the creature's outer covering is 100 per cent neoprene, a man-made rubber, and that you are, in fact, looking at a human in a wetsuit.

In what passes for the Irish summer of 2004, the wetsuit has become the beachwear equivalent of the SUV. Suddenly it's all over the place.

Where once it was the preserve of the more committed outdoor enthusiast, it has completely crossed over into civilian use, apparently overnight.

And just as the owner of a four-wheel drive vehicle can enjoy the aura of being an off-road explorer without ever attempting anything riskier than taking two spaces in the Stephen's Green car park, so the modern wetsuit wearer may pose as an off-beach type without ever mounting a surfboard.

Above all, the wetsuit declares its owner to be a serious individual. It kicks sand in the face of less substantial beachwear. It sneers at your Hawaiian shorts, like a Land Rover sneers at a Fiat Punto.

Yet the new popularity of the wetsuit could also be seen as belated acknowledgement of the realities of the Irish climate. For too long, we as a people have been in denial about the weather, fooled by such meteorological concepts as the "warm waters of the Gulf Stream".

Convinced that we are a Mediterranean nation trapped in a north European nation's body, we go swimming off Dingle in Speedos, and call the experience "bracing".

But as the neoprene lobby points out, hypothermia is a real risk in Irish waters, even in high summer. The sudden ubiquity of wetsuits could represent the long-delayed triumph of experience over optimism.

Parental protectiveness may also be a factor, to judge by the numbers of rubber-covered families.

A British website specialising in wetsuit sales exploits this potential market with the subtle, understated question: "Would you let your children go skiing dressed in their underwear?"

And with prices starting at €100 for a full adult suit, and €70 for a child's (not including the Lycra Rash Vest recommended for kids with sensitive skin), this is as good a way as any to introduce you to the concept that a visit to the beach will soon be as expensive as a holiday in Chamonix.

Despite frequent redesigns, the wetsuit could not be described as a fashion garment. The dreaded word "unisex" - sure to chill the blood of any clothes-conscious woman - still features widely in descriptions of suit sizes.

A few manufacturers have begun to boast of suits "contoured exclusively for the female form", but they make this sound as if it's a major technological breakthrough (which may well be the case). Female suits are designed to be "fuller" at the hips, and in keeping with the tradition of women's clothes - the prices tend to be fuller too.

But at least the manufacturers are trying. As yet, no suits seem to have been contoured exclusively with the middle-aged male form in mind.

The truly serious watersports enthusiast will not make do with just one suit, of course. There's the short version, recommended for everything from underheated swimming pools in the Mediterranean; the long suit, now de rigeur for Tramore or Ballybunion; and if you're really, really serious, there's the winter suit as well, ideal for the Christmas Day swim or for summer holidays in Iceland.

The wetsuit phenomenon is of course a symptom of Ireland's growing fondness for watersports, from surfing and water-skiing, at one end of the spectrum, to just lolling about on a body board at the other.

But even if your favourite beach activity is lighting a barbecue, wearing a wetsuit can in itself be a useful form of exercise. Getting in and out of one is still an extreme sport, despite the best efforts of the designers.