Reviewed - Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie: The latest phantasmagorically puzzling cartoon feature makes for tough viewing, writes Donald Clarke

"I play Injection Fairy Lilly in attack mode." "My viral tentacles will infect 10 cards in your deck." "White Dragon attack with ionic spear burst." What in the name of heaven is going on? The latest phantasmagorically puzzling cartoon feature to be based on a Japanese card game has something to do with the relationship between an ancient Egyptian god and an effete gentleman who lives by a lake and drinks red wine spritzers. Parents beware: after half an hour or so, the dialogue ceases to be irritating and takes on an oddly poetic quality. Perhaps an evil genius is working some terrible magic on your subconscious. To be on the safe side, just stay away.