Shuffle: The very silly Meltybrains? boys and moral guidance from Justin Beiber

Meltybrains? - The Vine 

It's hard to know where to begin with this fantastically bonkers new video by Dublin messers Meltybrains? Should I point out that the lyrics written in the sort of garbled English popular amongst Japanese T-shirt designers? Or that the band's deranged high-jinks that wouldn't have looked out of place in an old Madness video? Or that the supposedly new dance craze they've invented is suspiciously similar to The Bangles Walk Like an Egyptian? (Or should I just pass on the verdict of the six-year-old who watched it with me and concluded "Those boys are very silly"?) Hipsters with a sense of humour! What an age we live in.

The Libertines - Glasgow Coma Scale Blues 

If the reunited Libertines' first single, Gunga Din, was a bloated, lacklustre affair, the second finds them back at something like their combustible best. "What happened to the joy in the hearts of the boys," laments Carl Barat. "At the start of that part of the scene?" The band's long awaited third album Anthems for Doomed Youth is out next week.

Brian McFadden - Call On Me Brother 

“I ain’t got no money, got no car,” claims Brian McFadden on his latest terrible comeback single. “But call my name and I won’t be far.” The chorus reiterates that promise. “Call me brother, and I’ll be there.” Call him father, on the other hand, and he’ll be 10 time zones away most of the time. But that’s another matter entirely.

Justin Bieber - What Do You Mean? 

“What do you mean,” ponders Justin, on the first single from his fourth album. “When you nod your head ‘Yes’ but you want to say ‘No’.” The line has been criticised by comedian Lena Dunham who believes it sends a problematic message about sexual consent. So bad news, there, for anyone who looks to Justin Bieber for moral guidance.