If you don’t wake up feeling like you’ve eaten a whole box of cigarettes or gargled some glass shards, well done you, you’ve earned that smug expression. But perhaps you did your first night wrong; luckily you can rectify this today.
To everyone else who feels utterly haunted by their own mortality - it’s going to be okay. Get some tea. Maybe have a Twix. If you venture out of your tent you’re bound to see someone who’s in a worse state than you.
It's Saturday at the Picnic and if you're in an adventurous frame of mind or just want to burn off some excess energy or anxiety from the night before why not jump start things with some Feelgood Hula down at the Body & Soul Peace Pagoda at 1.30pm and get those hips limbered up for the night ahead. Now that you're feeling slightly more human, or y'know even more monstrous, you're ready to take in some tunes. Catch the moody atmospheric electro of Bad Bones in Rankin's Wood at 2.45pm and then amble over to the Salty Dog stage at 3.45pm to sample the smart, sunshiney pop of Paddy Hanna.
Make the most of the afternoon sun (yes really) and take a little trip (and some obligatory selfies) on the Ferris wheel or treat yourself to the festival dinner of the gods: pizza and prosecco followed by a 99 from that van that's always parked near the big tree at the Main Stage.
If you fancy testing out your vocal chords (which hopefully have progressed from Tom Waits territory) the Sing-a-Long Social are having a Pool Party Pop Battle at 7pm at the Orchard Thieves Bold Motel where you can scream along to anything from Katy Perry to Guns'n'Roses and Coolio. If all that brings on a bout of nostalgia you can always go to see three members of boyband 5ive sing Keep on Movin' at the Electric Ireland Throwback Stage at 8.15pm. Who knows you may even be hired as their new Jay (you're not Abz, don't be silly, no one could replace Abz.)
Then it's time to get real and stake out your spot at the Main Stage to pay your respects to hip-hop royalty A Tribe Called Quest at 10.15pm who will be kicking out the hits in a relentless fashion. Those festival fun-merchants Le Galaxie will be still going strong til midnight over at Rankin's Wood and then your choice really depends on which way you want your night to go: an emosh, angsty weepathon at Interpol in the Electric Arena at midnight, everything going a bit Pete Tong on the Main Stage at 12.30am or bumbling about having the chats or a nice sit down until you're ready to twirl again to indie-pop youngsters Le Boom who take to the Body & Soul stage at 3am. Sorted.
