During a recent visit to the cinema, Romy Madley Croft tumbled back to her childhood. The singer and producer was watching Aftersun, Charlotte Wells’s hallucinatory drama starring Paul Mescal as a father worried if he is man enough to raise his daughter.
“I was blown away by how she managed to capture an experience that I don’t think is documented so much – the relationship between a father and a daughter – in a way that resonated with me,” says Madley Croft, best known as co-leader of The xx, the gloomy indie trio whose dark music pulsates with life.
“My mum died when I was 11. I lived with my dad. We would go on holiday together. I just resonated a lot with that experience. That visual of Paul Mescal playing a dad having a difficult time and trying to be a good dad… It gave me a lot of empathy for what my dad might have been experiencing at that time. I was incredibly moved by it.”
[ The xx’s Romy: ‘I can now write about loving a woman and not feel afraid’Opens in new window ]
The past has been on her mind a great deal. As Romy, she is about to release a fantastic pop record, Mid Air, that draws on her experiences of life, love and happiness – but also of self-doubt and loneliness. Featuring collaborations with producers such as Stuart Price and the Mercury nominee Fred Again, it unpacks her secret existence as a denizen of the dance floor. Listening to it is like hearing someone decide to put normality on hold and be fabulous, if only for a day: Mid Air is exuberant, optimistic and beyond catchy.
It’s also searingly personal. In the darkest, dreariest days of lockdown, Madley Croft was gripped by a nostalgia for the carefree clubbing of her youth. As a queer teenager, clubs such as Ghetto, in London’s Soho district, were a safe space. And something more: a portal to a world of freedom and solidarity. In the quiet of the pandemic, those precious memories came rushing back.
I’m not the most confident dancer. I think DJing has given me more self-confidence on stage
“I grew up London. I got into some clubs in Soho underage. I don’t think you can do that now. It made me feel less alone. I didn’t have a super-hard time at secondary school. There was definitely a feeling of walking into this queer club and feeling I could let my guard down. Connect with other people. Have role models. Explore my sexuality in that space. I’m so grateful I could find that community. Some of the people I met there are still my best friends. There was a lot of big, bold pop music that was celebrated and listened to without irony. That was something that stayed with me.”
With The xx, Madley Croft mastered the art of studied ennui: the group’s early albums arrived shrouded in monochrome and filtered through painfully shy millennial angst. They came out of their shell with 2017′s more groove-oriented I See You; with Mid Air, Madley Croft accelerates along that continuum. It is gloriously mainstream, its influences ranging from Dua Lipa’s Future Nostalgia to Madonna’s Confessions on a Dancefloor (produced by Price, her new collaborator).
[ Album of the Week: The xx walk the line between groove and silence on I See YouOpens in new window ]
“We’ve always actually really loved commercial pop music – dance music. That’s always been part of what we listen to as friends,” she says. “It hasn’t shown up in The xx. I was excited to embrace the references and lean more into the music I loved.”
But if the vibes are largely carefree, embracing the pop star within has proved more complicated. The xx’s reputation for shyness precedes them: for much of their career they would hide behind dry ice and mournful guitars. To step out from behind the curtains as a pop-oriented solo artist was a journey for Romy.
“It took me a while to feel the self-confidence to go for that style. I wasn’t sure how I’d be able to embody it as a performer. I’m not the most confident dancer. I think DJing has given me more self-confidence on stage. I just played last night in London at a festival, All Points East. You take a deep breath and go out there and do your best to perform this music that is very high energy. I had a lot of energy doing it.”
How far she has come from the early days, when The xx were wincingly uncomfortable in the spotlight. “It kind of feels like looking at teenage photos of myself. Kind of, like, ‘Wow – that’s what I was choosing to wear.’ When I listen to those songs, I love we made those musical decisions. It feels like part of me, but also like looking like another person. When we made that first album we had no idea anyone was going to hear it.”
Pop is often about saying what you feel – taking your deepest emotions and waving them like a flag on a rooftop. That’s the groove Romy stays in throughout Mid Air. She explains that the lyrics are largely addressed to a significant other and that the record chronicles the ups and downs, the triumphs and tears, of a long-term relationship. (She is married to the photographer Vic Lentaigne.)
She doesn’t hold back. The Sea chronicles falling hard for someone in Ibiza, though like all the best love songs, this one has a sting: “I met the girl of my dreams / But she doesn’t believe me”. The single Strong is a profession of love and support to someone going through difficult times: “Let me be someone / You can lean on.”
I’m so proud of what we’ve managed to do. We’ve made three albums that are loved. We needed time to explore and learn
— Romy on The xx
“The closer it gets to the album being released, the more I realise I have been very open and quite literal. That, I think, was definitely a subconscious intention, just to allow a little bit more of myself to come through on this project and let people get to know me more. I’m writing very specifically about one particular relationship, the ups and the downs. It felt new and exciting to be more honest and straightforward. With The xx what I love writing with Oliver Sim [her co-leader] is that we share the songwriting and bounce off each other’s ideas and experiences and use metaphors. It felt new and exciting to be more honest and straightforward.”
It isn’t all kisses and starlight. On Enjoy Your Life, Romy opens up about her insecurities and anxieties – the voices in her head telling her something can always go wrong (“somebody tells me why / I’m scared to close my eyes”). Paradoxically, these highly specific moments are the ones that will resonate most deeply with some in her audience. When Romy describes anxiety as “my old friend”, many of her fans will empathise. A deeply private song pivots towards the universal.
“For me as a songwriter, what I appreciate in other people’s songwriting is where it feels personal but still leaves space for you, the listener, to connect it with your own life,” she says. “That’s something I’m always quite obsessed with creating. As much as the song is for me and to get something out of my head and to document the time, I also want it to be for you – for the listener to put into their lives. For it to be a song that belongs to them.”
[ The XX: marking the spotOpens in new window ]
It’s been seven years since the last xx LP. All three members have gone on to different things. Romy has her pop career; Sim released a demon-exorcising solo project, Hideous Bastard, last year; and Jamie Smith, aka Jamie xx, is a successful DJ. The group still exists, and they will never take people’s love of their music for granted. But it’s nice, Romy says, to explore different avenues, so that when she does eventually return to the mothership she will have something new to offer.
“I’m so proud of what we’ve managed to do. We’ve made three albums that are loved. We needed time to explore and learn. I wanted to work with new people and bring back what I learned to the band, to keep things fresh and evolving. We’re all talking about when we’re next going to get in the studio. It’s feeling good between us. I don’t want to take for granted how long it’s been since our last album. I’m grateful people are still asking me about it.”
Mid Air is released by Young
