In a Word . . . September

“Hello and welcome fellow passengers. This is your captain speaking. Hoping your voyage on the luxury SS September is going as well as you would have expected. You may have already gathered, that we prefer `mellow’ here. It is our motto, after all, that `moderation breeds contentment’.

Yes. You may recall the controversy. We preferred that “moderation breeds content”. It scans better. But we were alerted (eventually!) to an unintended interpretation which might indicate we were in the business of promoting the biblical line of “increase and multiply”. And that wouldn’t do, not least as we are a rigorously secular business. Which, as you will know, means we offend nobody’s money.

It has been said, indeed it has been the finding of various studies and polls, that this annual voyage on the SS September is among the most popular of the year. It lasts 30 days, which seems to suit people of a certain age so much better. And unlike voyages of similar duration on the SS April, SS June, and SS November, there tends to be a general feeling of more pronounced ease on SS September, even if we say so ourselves.

The April can be still a little too chill, mixing memory with desire, while June frequently is the opposite. Too much desire, some might say, and usually with no memory the next day. As for our old friend November, well that voyage is an acquired taste requiring years. I must admit a personal affection for it as I was born on a November voyage. At the Sagittarian end too, I add. Hastily!

No this annual voyage on the SS September is probably my favourite, sailing slowly – gracefully even – towards year’s end as a routine disrupted by summer takes over, with the days organised in advance and less decisions to be wrestled with.

Meanwhile we are travelling at approximately 1,040 miles an hour (1,675 km). Hard to believe, I know. It feels like we’re standing still. That’s almost 25,000 miles (40,075 km) a day. It means we will journey a total of 750,000 miles approx. (1,202,250 km) on this SS September voyage and we will hardly notice. Except that the days will get cooler, shorter. Enjoy.”

September from Old English, itself from the Latin septem, meaning seven, and for the seventh month of the old Roman calendar.

inaword@irishtimes.com

QUOTE: “As for our old friend November, well that voyage is an acquired taste requiring years”