HOW LOW CAN HE GO?

REVIEWED - DEUCE BIGALOW: EUROPEAN GIGOLOComedy boffins out there may wish to ponder why a joke relating to the Chernobyl disaster in Rob Schneider's latest cinematic enema seems so astonishingly offensive, while the comic reference the South Park team make to the September 11th tragedy in the upcoming documentary The Aristocrats appears somehow acceptable.

Actually, don't bother. The solution is simple: if a comic is funny enough he or she can get away with a gag about almost anything; if a comic is Rob Schneider then even the most harmless knock-knock joke will cause right-thinking people to boil with outrage.

If you've seen Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo then . . .Well, if you're not a movie critic then what the hell were you thinking? There are great novels to be read, grand operas to be listened to, natural wonders to be visited, and you wasted 90 minutes in the company of a man so mordantly unamusing the very mention of his name causes kittens to die and daisies to wilt. Have you any notion how long you are going to be dead?

Sorry, where was I? If you've seen Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo then you probably think you have some idea how ghastly the sequel is. You do not. European Gigolo - sexist, racist, homophobic and a lot of other things you might tolerate from South Park (because it's funny, remember) - conclusively proves that Schneider has the ability to limbo beneath any expectation, however lowered.

Almost entirely filmed in the Netherlands, the horrific enterprise doesn't even manage to follow up on the humble promises made in its title. Perhaps, even in these promiscuous times, there are certain obscenities only the Dutch allow on film. Hot Rob Schneider action.

Not suitable for children, adults or anybody else with a cerebral cortex.