The Bad Guys: Bad, but not in a good way

So, these two lions are walking down O’Connell Street. Right? One turns to the other and says: “Quiet for a Saturday. Isn’t it?”

This relentlessly unimpressive adaptation of an Australian graphic novel begins with a homage to the diner scene in Goodfellas and a variation on that ancient joke. Neither works particularly well, but you do at least feel the film-makers have an objective in mind. The animation then slides into a drab morass of bad-ass clichés revolving around ancient heist movies. The internal logic makes no sense. The characters are little more fleshy than hand puppets. The efforts to keep it cool are embarrassing. Richard Ayoade’s ironical voice work goes some way to saving it, but this remains a shamelessly anaemic half-term diversion. Didn’t we decide that kids deserved better a few decades back?

The core gag relies on the notion that, in a world where humans live beside anthropomorphic animals, the traditional "bad creatures" find it hard to get an honest break. So Mr Wolf (voiced by Sam Rockwell), Mr Snake (Marc Maron), Mr Piranha (Anthony Ramos) and so on face the inevitable and take to a life of crime.

Wisecracks

The picture reaches an early crux when, like the heroes of ancient TV series Alias Smith and Jones, they agree to behave themselves to avoid time in the clink. Can they sidestep the fate of that fabled scorpion who gave in to instinct while taking a lift from that fabled frog? Maybe. Dunno. Who cares?

That reference to Alias Smith and Jones above points up just how much this film plays to rhythms from films and TV shows most of their target audience’s parents will regard as old hat. There is a particular passion for the sleazy cool of Ocean’s 11 (that’s Sinatra) and Ocean’s Eleven (that’s Clooney). This need not be a problem. Plenty of contemporary family animations nod to adult entertainments without forgetting to keep the humour accessible to everyone. Sadly, there is not much else going on here. Everyone wisecracks furiously while even infants drum fingers in anticipation of a much-telegraphed twist. The animation never rises above the humdrum.

The one redeeming feature is Ayoade's turn as an insufferably self-righteous philanthropist called Professor Marmalade. Adults and smarter kids will enjoy the digs at the pomposity of professional saints. Everyone else can laugh at the genuinely funny talking guinea pig.

Opens on April 1st