Who wants to watch politics on the big screen? With the new 'Twilight' film out, JOE GRIFFIN looks at the way the dreaded council of elders can ruin the magic
WHEN IS A movie series in trouble? Is it when the actors are too old to play the leads? Or when the series suffers from too many trips to the well? A less popular theory is that a franchise is running out of steam when politicians appear. It might be a council of elders, an intergalactic senate or any kind of fantastical government meeting.
The opening text had barely started to roll in Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menacebefore audiences were bored: "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away . . . The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute . . . While the congress of the Republic endlessly debates this alarming chain of events . . ." What followed was a deeply unloved Star Warschapter, choking with long expository scenes that – no kidding – discussed intergalactic tax.
Astoundingly, this artistic decision wasn't a one-off but a sign of a growing trend. The worst offenders were the Matrixsequels, which overflowed with such discussions. You might remember that the marketing for all three films featured kung-fu, sunglasses and car chases, and exactly zero political discussions. By the time the third Matrixfilm came along the series was beginning to resemble a sci-fi Oireachtas Report.
Such scenes have been a big part of fantasy literature for decades. But, strangely, that genre can't be blamed for the reams of political discussion that fill up mainstream films. The Lord of the Ringstrilogy, for example, has council scenes, but they're relatively concise and passionate. Indeed, while the Tolkien adaptation is surprisingly efficient for a nine-hour epic, the swashbuckling Pirates of the Caribbeanfilms are not immune to discussions of trade routes and maritime law. Not only does the villainous spice company engage in dreary debate, but the pirates even have a council. Why would pirates have a council? Surely an appeal of being a pirate is being your own boss.
It’s not like these scenes are politically sophisticated, either. While sci-fi and fantasy often address modern problems and concerns, the classics usually do so with metaphors and big ideas, and without bureaucratic dialogue. Usually in modern cinema the council is there only to provide swathes of plot exposition.
This brings me to the Twilightseries. With the Romeo and Juliet story essentially resolved in the first book, Stephanie Meyer needed a new antagonist for the series. Enter the Volturi, a council of elder vampires to disapprove of the central couple.
Bureaucrats in a popcorn film need not be a bad thing: in the epilogue of Raiders of the Lost Arkour hero is told that the Ark of the Covenant is being examined by "top people"; then we see it being carted into a giant anonymous warehouse. It's the perfect use for stuffed-shirt pencil-pushers: a brief reminder that politics and escapism are uneasy bedfellows.
Popcorn politics; Top 3 offenders
The Twilight Saga: New MoonThe climax of the second Twilight film was built up to be a battle of the undead; instead it became a debate between Edward and the Volturi council of vampires. Bor-ring.
Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace The film was filled with dialogue apparently designed to infuriate its young male audience, including such snoozers as "I think we are going to have to accept federation control."
The Matrix ReloadedAfter an exciting first chapter, the Matrixsequels sank under hours of infuriating expository scenes. Fans watched in disbelief as Keanu Reeves discussed robot-war politics with a futuristic senate.
