A Cuppa Tea and Papayas - by Dove Curpen, age 18

This is one of eight short plays recently produced in a playwriting project at Fighting Words in collaboration with the Abbey Theatre.

Characters:

Alex - a Mauritian boy aged 11

Siobhan - an Irish girl aged 10

Scene 1

In a classroom at school. Alex sits on a chair centre-stage, speaking directly to the audience. Siobhan is in the background, not paying attention to Alex.

Alex: It's so easy to watch people die. On TV of course. We've almost become numb . . . so desensitised when we talk about death, ye know. Like a film is crap if no one dies, isn't it?

It’s like we’re all waiting and rooting for someone to die. Please, anyone, anywhere, just, die. Because if no one dies then it’s just boring, isn’t it?

Pause.

When someone dies, not on TV, now, but in real life, no one really cares anymore. We’re so used to seeing the “RIP Granda” or “Heaven got an angel today” on Facebook an’ all. Like, that’s so stupid.

Pause.

“And they, since they/Were not the one dead, turned to their affairs.” Robert Frost wrote that. I don’t know much about him but I know he was right about that.

No one gives a damn. It’s the natural order of things. So, go on, turn to your own affairs. It’s completely normal and okay if someone dies.

Pause. Looks at audience.

Siobhan approaches and Alex jumps at the sight of her. She caught him by surprise as he didn’t know that she was lurking in the background. Lightning speed.

Siobhán: Eh, why do you have a girl's name? Alexandra. That's a girl's name isn't it? It is! It is a girl's name. But you don't look like a girl. Is it because you're from a different country? So like they name the boys after girls. I don't understand. That's weird. You're weird. Why are you not saying anything? Come on say something.

Can you not talk? Like what are you doing? I’m Siobhan. What’s your name? Oh yeah, it’s Alexandra. Sorry, I forgot. Are you not allowed to talk to me? I’m not supposed to talk to you either, but like whatever. Oh, so you can’t speak English? Do you speak English? Oh okay, no. Oh well, you’ll learn. That’s what school is for. I still can’t get over the fact that you have a girl’s name. Are you gay? My da says that it’s when boys hold other boys hands and kiss each other and stuff. Homos. That’s just gross. I can’t picture that in my head. Anyway, like, you don’t talk very much.

That’s weird. You’re weird.

Alex: I... umm... I don't really...

Blackout.

Scene 2

Outside in the yard. Alex sits cross-legged on a bench reading The Catcher in The Rye. His diary is on the bench. Siobhan enters skipping. Lightning speed.

Siobhán: Hey Alex. Oh my god! Like what are you doing? Are you reading? Are you reading during lunchtime? You're meant to be playing. Now, I don't wanna be mean or anything but like the kids will think you're a weirdo if you read during lunchtime. If you want to make friends, you have to make the effort. At least try to fit in. You're asking for it if you sit here, crossing your legs reading. It'll be your own fault. Like I'm just tryna be nice, telling you this. Just listen. Don't hate me. My da says only D4 people read. You're not a D4, are ye? You don't wanna be D4 around here. Da says that they're the posh ones that live in Ballsbridge.

They talk all proper and they’re really stuck up cuz they think they’re god’s gift with all their money. And they wear UGG boots all the time, even in the summer. Don’t be like them? Okay? Cuz they’re weird.

Pause.

Siobhan turns to exit.

Siobhán: Well…see you later.

Alex: Wait, I haven't even….

Alex is still on the bench. He puts the book down. Picks up his diary and writes. Lights are dimmed. Although Alex is writing, he delivers this monologue to the audience.

Alex: So there's this girl at my school. At first, I could barely understand what she was on about. It's all gibberish.Well, it probably has something to do with the fact that I can't understand or speak English properly but makes no sense at all! I never really pay much attention to her anymore. Maybe it's because she speaks so fast. Everyone speaks so fast here. Everything's so different. Like the leaves, they're brown here. BROWN! I've never seen brown leaves in my life before. Ugh, I don't like it here. I miss home and I miss Darren.

Pause. Sighs.

Anyway, so this girl. I can’t even pronounce her name. Seeebbhhh. Sive. SShiiobon or something like that. Well, she seems like a nice person at first but she really isn’t. Her dad says this, her dad says that. Who the hell cares what your dad thinks. And her dad doesn’t seem … like a good person, which means that SHE isn’t a good person too. She won’t stop annoying me.

Maybe she doesn’t know she’s doing it. And I get annoyed over the simplest things. Darren’s birthday is coming up soon. It’ll be interesting to see what Mam does this year. I hope she’ll bake again this year. I hope I’ll get to eat some before she throws it away.

Blackout

Scene 3.

Classroom. Alex and Siobhan sit in their seats. Lightning speed.

Siobhán: I actually hate school sooo much. I don't mind seeing my friends and stuff but I really don't like having to get up from my comfy bed when it's cold and rainy. And always raining here. And homework! Don't get me started on homework. I hate doing homework! But I have to learn, though. My dad has a good job. Like I don't really know what it's about but he went to school and he gets paid loads now. He says I need to be good too in school so that I can get a job when I'm older. Only people that go to school get jobs. But he says that it's not fair that other people come here and take all the jobs cuz then we become poor. But…I mean.

Alex: Will you stop doing that?

Siobhán: What?

Alex: Insulting me…but not in an obvious way.

Siobhán: What?

Alex: It's not a big deal. But it's like little comments here and there.

Siobhán: I don't even know what you're talking about.

Alex: Maybe you don't know you're doing it. But sometimes you say things that are just weird.

Siobhán: NO! You're weird. YOU! Da…

Alex: I don't care what your da thinks and says. I don't care!

Siobhán: Look, I'm just tryna help you. You don't have any friends and you look so sad all the time.

Alex: I didn't ask you to talk to me. Leave me alone. Stay on your side of the fence.

Siobhán: Ooook. Well….sorry for trying to be nice! I was just tryna help you cuz you don't have any friends. I'm not even suppose to talk…. Siobhan exits abruptly. Alex watches her as she leaves and takes his diary out from his school bag.

Alex: I know it's kinda weird for a boy to keep a diary. But Dr. Clarke says it's a good idea cuz instead of having everything up here(taps his temples.) I put it all in here(holds up journal.) That way, my brain is nice and empty. Because if it gets too full, it'll probably explode. That's what happened to Darren. He had too much stuff going on and didn't let any of it out. Speaking of him, Mam made the cake, she did. Spent the whole day on the thing. Decorated it with Smarties. Then dumped the whole thing in the bin…again.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe I am weird, like Sive..or Sibee or whatever her name said. I’m not like the others. I’m weird. And, a cup of tea won’t solve anything!I don’t even like tea, no 12 year old likes tea!

Pause. Sighs. Siobhán quietly enters and lurks in the background.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. That’s why I can’t fix it. Cuz I don’t know WHAT to fix. I don’t think I have one massive problem, but many small little things that get to ye. If Darren were here, I’d talk to him. But he didn’t have anyone to talk to, himself. And look at what happened to him.

AAaahhh, I miss him so much. I miss the sun, I miss real chicken curry, not this fake stuff they have here. I miss the cold papayas. I miss my brother. But again, everyone else has “turned to their own affairs.”

Siobhan walks upstage and sits on the bench beside Alex.

Siobhán: Alex, Alex? What you doing? Why are you talking to yourself? Listen Alex, I honestly don't mean to insult you. I'm just trying to be a good person.

She looks at Alex. He sees a bruise on her jaw.

Alex: That looks sore. (Pointing at her jaw.)

Siobhán: Yeah. It was an accident. Dad apologized.

Alex: Oh.

Silence

Alex: At least he apologized. I mean, he could've just left it and not said anything.

Siobhán: Yeah. My dad's great. He's amazing. He's the best dad ever. He works really hard. He's doing the best he can.

Alex: What about your mother?

Siobhán: She passed.

Alex: Passed?

Siobhán: Yeah, she passed away. She's dead.

Alex: OH. Pause. I am so sorry for your loss.

Siobhán: Yeeaah.

Alex: I lost my brother a few years ago. He killed himself. I feel like I'm forgetting everything about him.

Siobhán: I know what you mean. We don't really talk about her anymore either.

Alex: Do you miss her?

Siobhán: Yeah. I do. I miss.

Alex: I miss my brother too.

The two sit in silence for a while. Look at each other and smile.

Blackout