In a Word ... Aeroplane

There was a time when one of the highlights of my little life was arriving at an airport, preferably en route to somewhere. The excitement would keep me awake at night in blissful anticipation of the change and strange to come. It was said of late Labour Party leader Frank Cluskey that he salivated approaching an airport. I understood.

Now, I look back on those days with a longing and nostalgia as I do to College years. Well gone now, too.

These days I approach an airport with weariness, tedium and dread. All those queues. All that dressing and undressing. All that waiting. Yes, security is necessary in these mad times but sometimes I’d prefer to walk those hundreds/thousands of kilometres than take off my shoes (again) and belt and empty my pockets, etc., then forget about the keys in my trousers, and have to go back through it all again.

My worst experience of this was in November 2006 when I flew to Ankara in Turkey when Pope Benedict visited there. I went through Dublin, London, Istanbul and Ankara airports, with security at Dublin, twice in London, twice in Istanbul, and twice at Ankara (due to the papal visit).

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It meant I had to undress seven times before arriving in Ankara. Later I suggested to work colleagues that, nowadays, the only way to fly is nude. There was little enthusiasm for the observation.

These days there’s the added possibility of picking up whatever-virus-you’re-having-yourself from recycled air in an aircraft and, for the conscientious few among us, the significant contribution of air travel to global warming.

Then last May there was the story of that lunatic who opened an emergency door on a plane as it approached Daegu International Airport near Seoul in Korea when it was about 213 metres (700ft) above ground. I don’t even want to think about it.

But I do sympathise (a little!) with the women passenger on a recent British Airways flight to New York who complained there were no blinds on its toilet windows. Few could go through the motions with comfort in that situation. She was assured by a flight attendant that “if some pervert is clinging to this aircraft at 35,000 feet they deserve to see everything”.

Aeroplane, first used 1907, from aer+plane, aer from Greek `air’ for sky/atmosphere, and planos from Greek `planum’ for wandering.

inaword@irishtimes.com