It was hilarious, to a point. Three quiet, seemingly reserved young men sitting in the pub corner chatting away among themselves. In another corner a lively bunch of slightly older women at the grand height of a somewhat raucous night out, inhibitions dissolving by the glass.
Soon, some of the women spotted the three wiser young men, still oblivious, in their discreet and peaceful corner.
All about to change, change utterly. Two terrible beauties were headed their way. The men’s space was invaded without a by-your-leave and with as much grace as Putin’s invasion of Ukraine last February. Similarly, the arrival was not greeted as expected. The three men just sat there, bewildered, at a loss as to what would be the at-once-manly-but-not-encouraging thing to do.
They did nothing. Said nothing. As the two imposed first conversation, then song on them.
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‘I could have gone to California. At this rate, I probably would have raised about half a billion dollars’
The choice of ditty was hardly seductive. “Ah-hoo, werewolves of London/Ah-hoo Ah-hoo, werewolves of London, Ah-hoo”, was not quite what was required to stir these young men’s ardour.
Nor, most certainly, was the follow-up “weeheeheehee dee heeheeheehee weeoh aweem away/Weeheeheehee dee heeheeheehee weeoh aweem away/In the jungle, the mighty jungle/The lion sleeps tonight/In the jungle, the quiet jungle/The lion sleeps tonight,” even if its words had something of an unintended accuracy.
The three men were not for charming. As the determined duo chorused their interest, the men discreetly finished their drinks and rose delicately from their seats, intent on making a decisive if unobtrusive escape.
As they left, one by one, the penny dropped with the would-be seducers. They began to make a mildly chastened journey back to their raucous sisters, just a whim away. Passing my seat, it dawned on one of them I had witnessed their futile efforts.
She made an unsubtle gesture, accompanied by the remark “…I bet you wouldn’t have minded a bit back in the day.”
To say I was appalled, affronted, outraged at this is merest understatement. I wanted to follow her and give vent to the overwhelming question. Just what did she mean by “….back in the day?”
For once, I thought better of it, finished my drink and went home to resume reading that article on sex in an American nursing home. (There’s a shortage of men as women live longer!)
Seduction from Latin seducere, `to lead astray, lead aside.’
