A compulsively interesting document I came across recently is currently on display at the Pontypridd Museum in Wales. It is titled `Marriage Advice For Young Ladies From A Suffragette, 1918.’
Young men of a delicate sensibility are strongly advised to read no further as the effects may be lifelong. Young men of a more robust sensibility may take comfort in advice offered to myself in my youth by a man of more mature years, that: “marriage is an institution and no man was meant to live in an institution.”
He has since died, RIP, and - though married - of natural causes!
But, back to Pontypridd. The unknown `Suffragette Wife’ and author of said `Marriage Advice etc.’ is pithy with her first offering (of 8) – “1. Do not marry at all”!
Your top stories on Friday: Warnings issued as Storm Bert set to batter Ireland; the false election promises being made to under-40s
Johnny Watterson: Conor Niland’s The Racket is a seminal book in the sports genre
Ballsbridge mews formerly home to Irish musician for €1.95m
‘I could have gone to California. At this rate, I probably would have raised about half a billion dollars’
Realising this may be too much for those weaker among the fairer sex, or too late in instances, she continues: “2. But if you must (marry) avoid the Beauty Men, Flirts, and the Bounders, Tailor’s Dummies, and Football Enthusiasts.”
No, I have no idea what `Beauty Men’ are either, unless they might be the early 20th century equivalent of those men who today spend their time in the gym in pursuit of a body beautiful (their own!).
Our clearly long-suffering `Suffragette Wife’ continues: “3. Look for a Strong, Tame Man, a Fire-lighter, Coal-getter, Window-Cleaner, and Yard Swiller.”
Or “a slave”, clearly. The capitals, by the way, are hers. At 4 she advises, without mercy or qualification: “Don’t expect too much, most men are lazy, selfish, thoughtless, lying, drunken, clumsy, heavy-footed, rough, unmanly brutes, and need taming.” I’m SOOOOO glad I did not live in 1918.
At 5 she says: “All Bachelors are, and many are worse still.” And “6. If you want him to be happy, Feed the Brute” (the latter three words are underlined). Just to be absolutely clear, she adds, at “7. The same remark applies to Dogs.”
And, finally, at 8 she says: “You will be wiser not to chance it, it isn’t worth the risk.”
Bless my terrified soul but all I can think of is the husband to which this “wife” was married. Was he a flirt, bounder, tailor’s dummy, football enthusiast or, perish the thought, a beauty man?
Suffragette, from Latin suffragium, for `support, ballot, vote’, `+ette’ for female supporter of women’s rights.
