A woman who claimed her husband was keeping their three young children “hostage” in the family home after getting her barred from the property has obtained a protection order against him.
Her marriage had been “toxic and violent” over years, the woman told the emergency domestic violence court at Dolphin House, Dublin, on Friday.
He “constantly abuses me”, “spits in my face if I don’t have his shirt ironed”, had thrown her down the stairs several times and told her how to dress, she said.
He has choked her in her sleep many times and told her that was due to his “dreams”, she told Judge Gerard Furlong. Their youngest child slept in the marital bed and she feared for the child’s safety now she was out of the family home, she said.
Her husband previously “manipulated me” to drop a domestic violence criminal case against him for assault and a file concerning her situation dates back to 2014, she said.
She said her husband manipulated their children – the eldest was aged seven – and “forces them to say stuff” then bought them gifts. When she asked the children once to turn off a PlayStation computer game console, they awoke their father to tell him and he pulled her hair and punched her, she said.
Her husband last week got an ex-parte (one side only represented) interim barring order (IBO) against her. After the woman refused to leave the family home without the children, she was charged with breach of the IBO. A condition of her bail, pending the breach proceedings, requires her to stay away from the family home.
She was staying with a relative and claimed her husband had “locked” the children at home and refused to allow her to see them. She had contacted Tusla because the situation was “not healthy” for the children.
Earlier this week, another judge had refused her husband a full barring order, but gave him a protection order against his wife.
On Friday, when the woman sought an IBO against her husband, Judge Furlong said the bail condition requiring her to stay away from the family home prevented him granting that order. He instead granted her a protection order.
In another of up to 20 ex-parte applications on Friday, a young woman who alleged years of physical, emotional and financial abuse by her partner obtained an IBO against him.
She was in fear and “in survival mode all the time”, the distressed woman said. “I can’t put up with the daily abuse and extreme control any longer.”
He was “very controlling over every aspect of my life” and “regularly threatens to kill me”, she said. He punched and kicked her, was constantly verbally abusive, “tries hard to isolate me”, opposed her going out and had ripped her clothes off her if he did not like them. He smoked cannabis and had “terrible anger” when he had none, the woman said.
She said she cared full-time for one of their children who had special needs, but he gave her no assistance with the children. She told him many times their relationship was over, but he had said he would “never leave”.
In another case on Friday, a man who alleged his wife was violent towards him, including giving him a black eye, and had struck one of their children obtained an IBO against her. Tusla had a safety plan and the children were not permitted to be around their mother until an assessment was complete, he said.
After his wife refused to leave home, Tusla paid for him and the children to stay in an hotel one night, and he and the children had also slept in his car, he said.
