An older woman who came to court with extensive bruising around one eye to seek a barring order against her husband has told a judge he was a “great father” and she was “trying not to turn her back on him”.
The couple have three children, one of whom still lives at home, and had renewed their marriage vows a few years ago, the woman told Judge Michael Ramsey in the Dublin Family District Court on Friday.
She said the man changed when a sibling died, and he ended up in Beaumont Hospital recently and attempted suicide. She did not want him to be released from hospital.
“They are waiting for him to threaten me so they can arrest him,” she said, when asked by Judge Ramsey if her husband had been detained under the Mental Health Act. “The way it is now, I’m afraid of him, even though I am trying to help him.”
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After she was assaulted, leaving the bruising that could still be seen on her face on Friday, she was checked for a brain bleed. “He snapped and did this to me,” she said. “He is the father of my kids. He was a great father. I’m hoping things can turn around for [him].”
The man did not appear for the hearing, and the judge granted the woman’s application. The order did not include the stipulation that the man no longer communicate with his wife. “I am trying not to turn my back on him,” she said.
A young woman living in a hostel told the judge that her former boyfriend tried to climb into bed beside her when she was in hospital recently after experiencing a miscarriage.
“He was trying to instigate a sexual encounter,” she told Judge Ramsey.
A nurse who spotted what was happening ensured she got in contact with a social worker, who explained to the woman that what went on was “not normal”.
She said friends and family had advised her that the relationship was a bad one, but that being told by a stranger that the relationship was not good for her had made an impression.
The relationship had ended after she became pregnant, but then the former boyfriend had visited her in hospital after she had a miscarriage. She lives close to him, and gets panic attacks. “I’m afraid to be outside my bedroom,” she said. The judge granted her an interim protection order.
An older woman told the court she gets up in the morning and goes to cafes for the day because she is so afraid of her husband. She said that when she comes home in the evenings she goes straight to her room and stays there.
Her husband, she said, is bipolar and is developing Alzheimer’s disease. “He’s very controlling. He intimidates me. It’s like I’m being stalked... I am mentally and physically battered at this stage and I am afraid.”
The couple, who have been married for more than 40 years, live alone in their house, she said. Judge Ramsey granted the woman an interim protection order against her husband and set a date in November for a full hearing.
A young woman who said her husband has an alcohol problem and can “fly off the handle” said she felt he was pressurising her into signing a separation agreement that she was not happy with. When she said she was concerned for her welfare, the judge granted an interim protection order.
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