Charlie McCreevy came armed with a script to "bash" the assembled troops at last week's Institute of Bankers dinner. Having duly delivered the lash to the tuxedoed troops, he then, following time-honoured tradition, rose to toast the Institute. But - oops! - he asked the masses to toast the "Irish Bankers' Federation", the industry's lobbying and representative group. But nobody seemed to mind. The star turn was the after-dinner speaker, solicitor Eugene McCague from Arthur Cox - who is to be the firm's next managing partner. Referring to the Minister as the man who put the "dare into Kildare" he went on to tell a tale of how he had prepared stock phrases to make small talk with the luminaries of the banking world. One was greeted with "You'd notice the change in the hour, all the same," another with "It's a grand night for November" and a third with "Are you looking forward to the Christmas?"

Then, McCague related, the crowds parted and who approached with hand outstretched but the Minister himself. All he could think to blurt out was "Did you get away for the holidays at all?"