Giving character traits to M&Ms is the latest marketing ploy by its owners, Mars, to promote the sugar-coated, multi-coloured candies, over half a billion of which are produced every day.

"Red", we are told, is outgoing by nature, and a scheming type, while "Yellow" is naive, clumsy and easily impressed. M&Ms, in fact, are "an icon brand" and are "fun and interactive", according to the promotional blurb, although this last quality may be more a result of hyperactive imaginations rather than an innate quality of the chocolate and peanut-coated sweets.

Mars Ireland believes M&Ms are capable of taking the Irish confectionary market "by storm". We are told that "there is a core of loyalists that already give us £3 million in sales".

It only remains for the nationalist population to be won over.