Holding to the maxim that the only thing to do with unwanted email is to pass it on, the Margin brings you the following gems, reputedly aired by flight attendants over airline intercoms:

"Your seat cushions can be used for floatation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."

Following a particularly windy flight and an extremely hard landing in Amarillo, Texas: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

From an airline employee on a flight to Seattle: "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with two small children, decide now which one you love more."