The Cup doth filleth over but it's not with romance

TV View:We sensed last week that Reading's Dave Kitson wasn't quite as up for the cup as we were when, tingling with anticipation ahead of the third round tie against Spurs, he gushed: "We are not going to win the FA Cup and I do not give two s***s about it, to be honest with you."

Sky Sports opted not to use Dave's quote in their build-up yesterday to the clash of little Luton and big Liverpool, leaving the scene-setting to Jamie Redknapp. "It's massive, innit," he said of the competition.

Richard Keyes agreed. As Cilla once put it: Surprise, surprise.

Of course some, like Dave and unlike Jamie, sense the romance is gone from the FA Cup, partly, we suspect, because they feel there's not much of a gap between the professionals and the plasterers and plumbers anymore. Actually, we can vouch for this, based on what we were charged recently for the replacement of a dodgy washer in our bathroom tap. That fella probably earns more than Michael Ballack.

Havant and Waterlooville left-back Brett Poate - which is a sentence in itself - is a plasterer and claims he earns a mere £500 a week. We haven't laughed as much since hearing about an exhausted Tarzan coming back from Christmas shopping and telling Jane: "It's a jungle out there."

For us, though, Brett is one of the reasons why the third round of the FA Cup is still romantic. Literally. "I'd love to do something special and get myself on Match of the Day, because it might help me get a date," he said ahead of the Blue Square South non-league side's cup trip to Swansea. "It's a doddle for the professional players to get girls because everyone recognises them when they go out on the town. That doesn't really happen at Havant."

In the hope that Brett would be highlighted by doing something noteworthy and, consequently, would find himself love, we were glued to Match of the Dayon Saturday night.

And he did indeed get himself on the programme - when he was sent off for a two-footed lunge on a Swansea substitute by the name of Andrea Orlandi.

Brett's actions resulted in a brawl involving most of the players on the pitch, professionals, plasterers and plumbers exchanging swipes like there was no tomorrow.

"That was a dreadful tackle, that's a leg-breaker," said Lee Dixon of our Brett back in the studio, "although his leg wasn't actually broken."

Brett, undoubtedly, was tuned in back home, eight video recorders on the go. If he does find love from this we reckon it'll only be from those who like a bit of rough, for as Andrea would confirm "decidedly rough" is the only way to describe the left-back from H&W. We're still talking about Havant and Waterlooville here, not Harland and Wolff.

Earlier in the evening, the BBC removed the tinsel from Gary Lineker, Alan Hansen, Peter Schmeichel and Alan Shearer and sent them to Birmingham for Manchester United's visit to Aston Villa. The camera zoomed in on Fabio Capello just the 837 times, the Beeb team speculating on which players would catch his eye. Villa's little Ashley Young was one of their contenders ("The way he's built he looks like a heavy shower could kill him," as Martin O'Neill once said of the wee winger), but he, like everyone bar Wayne Rooney, played like a Havant and Waterlooville reserve.

"Dire," said Hansen at half-time, and he was being kind.

Luton v Liverpool was a little better, with Rafa Benitez's omission of Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres from his squad underlining his determination that the club's trophy cabinet not be disturbed by any additions this season.

Back on the BBC yesterday it was Stoke City v Newcastle . . . . rain, wind, restless supporters, Bobby Robson in the stand, Shay Given and Damien Duff wondering what they'd done to deserve such team-mates. All we needed were a few inflatable shillelaghs and we would have felt even more at home.

Stoke were handicapped by the absence of another Irish international, Rory Delap, ruled out with a calf strain.

"Delap is the guy with the long throw," said Garth Crooks, enlightening the uninitiated with a lavish tribute to the lad's footballing abilities.

Including a helping of Burnley v Arsenal, that was 360 minutes plus feigned injury time of FA Cup third round telly action over the weekend, at the end of which we were, like Brett, still searching for romance.

Short of Havant and Waterlooville's overpaid plasterers and plumbers going all the way to Wem-ber-lee, we could be still searching come May, like Brett.