‘Imitation Chelsea’ still far less than the sum of their parts

It probably says quite a lot about the age of scepticism in which we live that the more you hear someone personally or professionally proclaim their dedication to “integrity” or “transparency” or “accountability”, the more you think they lack the first, don’t believe in the second and will run away from the third.

This is perhaps not the most obvious route to Chelsea 2024 and their ongoing malaise; it’s just that prior to going to Middlesbrough in the League Cup semi-final on Tuesday night, manager Mauricio Pochettino stressed the need for his players “to be humble”.

Pochettino’s message was that this Chelsea, who are 10th in the Premier League, 12 points off fourth, are not the Chelsea people think of when they hear that word “Chelsea”.

“People can think Chelsea is Chelsea,” Pochettino said. “No. If we believe that we are Chelsea and we are going to win because of this badge, I think we are going to be really wrong.”

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He was right.

After another erratic 90 minutes, it seemed too many Chelsea players had taken the humble bit literally. They did not display humility in the sense of sincere modesty, of course not, but they were humble in a different definition, via an absence of substance and quality. And that’s not the humble Pochettino had in mind.

Had Cole Palmer converted one of his three clear first-half chances, the Chelsea midweek story might have been different. It may have been about progress, possible green shoots, even corners turned, renewal.

Some could argue that Chelsea had 72 per cent possession, 18 shots and will surely overcome their 1-0 deficit in the second leg – and a Wembley trip would offer the opportunity of silverware and some validation inside the club regarding the policies pursued.

But the broader Blue assessment from Teesside must include recognition of the fact Middlesbrough, currently 12th in the Championship, had 12 players unavailable through injury – such as Darragh Lenihan – and lost two of their starting XI by minute 20. In those circumstances the three clubs immediately below Chelsea in the table – Wolves, Bournemouth and Fulham would all have expected to leave the Riverside with a draw or a victory.

But Palmer missed his chances and it was reasonable to ask why, having spent over €1 billion in the three transfer windows since Todd Boehly’s May 2022 takeover, the London club is fielding a clever attacking midfielder of the Bernardo Silva stripe in the number 9 role, albeit false.

Then again, as Pochettino was saying, this is false Chelsea. They have the blue kit and the club badge, but this is not Mourinho Chelsea, it’s not Tuchel Chelsea, it’s not even ‘Poch’ Chelsea. This is imitation Chelsea, a very expensive imitation.

What is potentially alarming is that another false element about the team – their status in the table – could be revealed in the season’s second half. There are, for example, four clubs Chelsea have still to play away from home. They are, in fixture order, Liverpool, Manchester City, Arsenal and Aston Villa. The current top four.

Brighton away will also be lively given what has gone on between the two clubs in the recent past.

Chelsea have sent an estimated €260m Brighton’s way for staff such as Graham Potter and players like Moises Caicedo and Marc Cucurella in the past 18 months.

Caicedo was a dynamic force at Brighton, even though he is primarily a defensive midfielder. As such he was not expected to stand out at Middlesbrough in a game Chelsea would dominate territorially, yet he managed to do so by standing out and losing his man, Boro’s Hayden Hackney, for the only goal. As Hackney scored, Caicedo stood with his hands behind his back, which may well become some kind of meme/metaphor for this Chelsea era of affluent stagnation.

Caicedo’s midfield partner, Enzo Fernandez, all €121m of him, was replaced just after an hour. Like Caicedo, Fernandez is clearly a talent. Both are 22, which is not old. Yet is old enough.

We all can understand why they were recruited (if not at the asking prices) and when Pochettino sees them on his practice board he may consider himself blessed. It could be similar when he sees Mykhailo Mudryk. His sensational arrival from under the pen of Arsenal was a year ago this weekend.

But what big-name signings do not guarantee is balance, chemistry, mutual appreciation – teamwork.

“We were solid in the whole team,” Pochettino said after October’s win at Burnley.

But collective success has been a rarity. Boro knew this: they played Villa in the FA Cup last Saturday and saw a tight unit in front of them. On Tuesday they saw individuals.

And 7½ months on from Pochettino’s appointment, there are questions as to why Chelsea are not showing obvious team characteristics, or indeed character.

True, he has had significant players injured – Reece James and Ben Chilwell would have offered more than full-back cohesion, they are “Chelsea players” of the type Pochettino associates with the club. Plus, it usually takes time for new faces to assimilate on and off the pitch. Chelsea have spent in such volume it was always going to be an issue, one the club’s leaders should have foreseen.

That is not Pochettino’s doing, he has to be given some understanding. But this season’s Premier League managerial comparisons do not flatter the 51-year-old from Murphy, Argentina.

The most obvious is with Ange Postecoglou and the speed and scale of his impact at Tottenham; Unai Emery at Villa has been close to transformational.

There is Gary O’Neil stepping into the vacuum at Wolves left by Julen Lopetegui’s sudden departure in August – Wolves have been victims of terrible VAR injustices – and Andoni Iraola, who after a tricky start has Bournemouth looking like an energetic team who know what is required tactically. Rob Edwards has Luton punching way above their weight. Fulham, who go to Stamford Bridge today, were a slicker formation at Anfield on Wednesday than Chelsea the night before.

So it is possible to be positive about clubs around Chelsea in the table, not just those at the top.

Boro coach Michael Carrick spoke of his club’s “energy, spirit, togetherness” and those Chelsea fans 220 miles from home, will have wondered where their team’s is. They were pointing angrily, not standing watching with their hands behind their backs. Wait ‘til they hear it could get worse.

Thiago Silva, who will be 40 this year, went over to them. Not many team-mates followed. Silva looked as he does, a proud man, one who knows he leads a humbled, split assortment. Chelsea’s false promise.