Mary Hannigan: You’d be a right numpty to read into the bookie’s list for Ireland’s next manager

It probably says something about the level of recognition that Emma Hayes now enjoys in football that she’s the only person listed on a certain bookmaker’s website as a contender for both the Republic of Ireland men’s and women’s senior jobs.

There is, it should be said, as much chance of her taking up either position as there is of you spotting an airborne pig. Such is her status now in the game she has, to be blunt, bigger fish to fry. And there’s the not inconsiderable issue of her having already been announced as the new United States women’s manager, a job she will start when she leaves Chelsea at the end of the season.

Those of us who did several jigs and reels a fortnight ago when she revealed that she would be departing the club, the assumption being that she was heading to Abbotstown to sign on the dotted line as Vera Pauw’s successor, will, in time, recover from the embarrassment.

The FAI could, of course, attempt to gazump the Yanks, but a bit of a fly in that particular ointment is the fact that she’ll be on a salary of €1.5 million in the States. That’s three times what Stephen Kenny was estimated to be earning, while she will pick up not a whole lot less in a month than Pauw got paid in a year. You’d be guessing that the FAI’s already strained coffers might struggle to bridge that gap.

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There will be those, of course, who will argue that a lady shouldn’t be managing our lads any way, largely because, they might suggest, that ladies can’t even understand the offside rule. But at least they have that in common with the lads who can’t understand it either even with the help of VAR.

Hayes, by the way, wasn’t the only woman listed in the running for the men’s job, Pauw also featuring. Galway United assistant manager Ollie Horgan might feel aggrieved to learn that only he had longer odds.

Granted, you’d be a right numpty if you took these class of lists too seriously. José Mourinho, for example, is down as one of the 35 contenders for the men’s position when it’s a lot more likely that he’ll head for Saudi Arabia soon enough where he’ll earn more while brushing his teeth on an average morning than he would in his 14 months in charge of Ireland before walking out in a huff.

The only surprise is that Philippe Troussier and Terry Venables weren’t given a mention. A first, surely.

The list of candidates for the women’s job is half the size, possibly because the compilers aren’t overly familiar with that neck of the woods in football. Their failure to spell Eileen Gleeson’s name correctly hinted in that direction. As did the inclusion of some folk who are more likely to buy X from Elon Musk than succeed Pauw. Among them, well, Hayes.

This called to mind the Facebook post by Tory MP Virginia Crosbie back in the summer of 2022: “The Women’s EURO championship is due to kick off this week at Wembley Stadium. I would like to wish all the Welsh squad, their coach Jayne Ludlow MBE and all the team the best of luck in the championship.”

As a tweeter responded at the time, “Great post from our MP on Facebook … apart from the fact that, *checks notes*, the Euros opened in Old Trafford tonight, *checks notes*, Gemma Grainger replaced Jayne Ludlow as Wales coach in 2021, and, *checks notes*, Wales haven’t actually qualified, she’s … errr … spot on.”

Might Crosbie soon be Facebooking her congrats to former Welsh international Ludlow on becoming the new, *checks notes*, Iceland manager? We’ll see. She’s sixth in the odds behind Lisa Fallon, Gleeson, Tom Elmes, Matt Beard and Vlatko Andonovski.

If the bookies know something that the rest of us don’t, and they usually do, then Fallon will be the new manager of the women’s team – they have her as odds-on favourite to be given the job.

She’s currently working with Fifa’s high-performance department, her coaching CV including stints with the Northern Ireland’s men’s team, Cork City, London City Lionesses in England’s Championship, as well as a spell with Dublin’s Gaelic footballers during Jim Gavin’s reign.

Gleeson being listed as a contender might well leave her exasperated, the current interim gaffer advising the media on Monday to not even “waste your breath” asking if she wanted the job on a permanent basis, having repeatedly insisted that she’s content with her role as the FAI’s head of women and girls’ football.

Elmes was Gleeson’s successor as Pauw’s assistant, the Dutch woman accusing him of being critical of her in his post-World Cup review. “He set the benchmark with things that were absolutely ridiculous,” she said. He wasn’t included in the interim set-up after Pauw’s departure, so it remains to be seen whether he is now a genuine candidate for the job.

Beard is the manager of Liverpool in the WSL and North Macedonia-born Andonovski is Hayes’s predecessor in the United States job, stepping down from the role in August after the team’s worst ever World Cup performance when they were eliminated in the round of 16. He was subsequently appointed head coach and sporting director of Kansas City Current in the NWSL.

Pauw’s appointment in September 2019, though, came out of left field, not too many anticipating her being chosen as Colin Bell’s successor, so we might yet have another bolt from the blue.

If the likes of Sam Allardyce is currently fine-tuning his CV, before popping it in an envelope addressed “Application for Eire gig, Dublin”, he’d want to specify which gender gig he’s after.

Otherwise, you’d wonder who’d be more gobsmacked at that first team meeting, Big Sam or Katie McCabe.