Joanne O’Riordan: I can’t watch men’s football since being shown women aren’t welcome

There’s a question I found myself asking throughout the Luis Rubiales scandal that has plagued women’s football over the last week: was I even that surprised? Admittedly, the whole affair has escalated in an unfathomable way, but watching on I just felt empty inside.

That’s not to say I don’t have sympathy for Jenni Hermoso. In fact, all women have been Jenni Hermoso at some stage of their lives. I’m sure every women reading this article can think back to a time when they were forced into a situation they didn’t like. It mightn’t have been as grotesque as being compelled to kiss someone in front of millions, or it mightn’t have been as horrific as watching the perpetrator go full Trump on live television during what many expected to be an apology and a resignation press conference – but all women have been on the end of some form of unwanted, distressing conduct from a man.

And how many times have we then had to watch an alleged perpetrator carry on with life as if all were normal? How many times have we seen them move on while victims were left with scars and the world tumbling around them?

I haven’t watched a men’s football match since the season kicked off. This is strange for someone who used to plan her entire weekend around games, but I can’t seem to bring myself to the couch.

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I’m not sure why. If I could pinpoint a specific moment, it would probably be the abysmal handling of the Mason Greenwood situation at Manchester United. As someone who has been thrown into the legal world as a new career, I knew contractually it would be difficult, but the way the situation was dealt with made an important point hit home – women, both as fans and players, really aren’t welcome any more.

[ Mason Greenwood saga is another example of the squalid, rudderless club Manchester United have become ]

The most bizarre twist in the story was when it was reported that Manchester United’s international players would decide Greenwood’s future once they returned from the World Cup – as if it made sense to ask them to decide the future of an alleged perpetrator of coercive control, abuse and sexual assault. Prosecutors’ decided to drop the charges against Greenwood because “a combination of the withdrawal of key witnesses and new material that came to light meant there was no longer a realistic prospect of conviction”, but that certainly doesn’t mean his behaviour was acceptable, and that much should have been obvious to the men who run United.

The Women’s World Cup itself was a success, Australia and New Zealand put on a show and the whole event was advertised as tolerant, inclusive, embracing and just a delightful place to express yourself. But there is always a mediocre man waiting for his chance to rob the spotlight. And there are always enablers and supporters, those who keep their opinions out of the public domain but are happy to whisper in ears.

If it’s not Greenwood, it’s Deshaun Watson, the NFL quarterback who has returned to playing after being suspended following allegations of sexual misconduct. If it’s not Rubiales and his mother, it’s Brock Turner, former Stanford University swimmer who was sentenced to six months in prison in 2016 for the sexual assault of a woman in a dark alley after a party, and his father, who said poor Brock couldn’t enjoy a steak any more. Meanwhile, his victim has detailed how she struggles to leave her house.

But this isn’t just a story of Rubiales, Turner, Greenwood or Watson. This is a very familiar tale about men, especially men involved in sports, who seem to be just able to get away with things. This is a story of victims being gaslit, a story of women having to sigh and pretend everything is fine while facing down injustices every day.

It’s also a story of enablers who allow these men to get into these positions of authority, men who feel they can do no wrong. It’s rare, although thankfully less so, for these men to see the repercussions of their actions.

And behind them are the applauders, the followers and those who think and say things behind the scenes, but are too clever to let the world see them for who they are.

These are all signs that women aren’t welcomed into men’s sports. It shouldn’t be left to women to alter their values and priorities, all in the name of sport. Men have to change their ways.