Seeking to do justice to Nevin's memory

INTERVIEW JOHANN MULLER:THE SHOW MUST go on and there had to come a point when the Ulster squad were not only obliged to play rugby again but probably needed to start playing again.

It’s what they all do best, as well as what they are paid to do, and so it is that they will play the Cardiff Blues on Friday night in the Arms Park in their first match since the tragic loss of Nevin Spence and his father Noel and brother Graham last Saturday week.

“I’ve been playing for 14 or 15 years now professionally and this is by a country mile the toughest two weeks I’ve ever had in my career,” reflected the Ulster captain, Johann Muller, yesterday.

“It’s been really tough but we’ve got to move on and if Nevin was here today he would have wanted us to move on and get a smile on our faces and start doing what we love so dearly and that’s play rugby.

“We’ll never forget Nevin. This will not be the end of this. This will take days and weeks and months and years for a lot of the guys to get over this, and Nevin will never, ever be forgotten. But we have to do what we know how to do. We’ve just got to get on to a playing pitch again and at least we have each other for comfort.”

It was just after 7pm last Saturday week when Muller received the fateful call from Rory Best relaying the tragic news. Like the Spences, Best and, for that matter, Muller himself, are from farming families.

The last time Muller had been with Spence was the previous Thursday at the squad’s bible study group. One imagines that the Christian faith of both the Spence family and so many of the squad has never been more helpful, and never been more tested.

“Absolutely. It’s been massively important to us and to see how strong his mum and his two sisters are, and the way that they have conducted themselves is testament to their faith as well. Even though it’s incredibly tough and there are no words for it, at least we do have the comfort of each other, and we do have our faith that we can hold on to.”

The scale of the tragedy for the Spence family themselves is beyond comprehension, yet remarkably, Muller reveals they’ve been almost as much of a comfort to the heartbroken Ulster squad.

“It’s tough to describe and you can’t say it in words. We had a memorial service last Sunday and we met his mum and his two sisters, and the amount of comfort we got out of how strong they are as a family is just incredible. A lot of us were in tears on Sunday and they were almost comforting us. It just shows the type of people they are and what they believe in. They’re just a wonderful example to everybody out there. Obviously our thoughts and prayers go out to them not only now but in the weeks and months to come.”

Nothing in Muller’s career could possibly compare to this.

“Not even close. When you get to my age and you have the amount of experience I have, you almost think that you’ve seen everything and you’re almost ready for whatever life throws at you.

“It just shows you how insignificant we really are as human beings and rugby is just a game and there’s way more important things in life. But in saying that, at least we’ve got each other, because I think if you have to go through this on your own it would have been incredibly tough.

“Not only player wise, but management wise and within the club, everybody has been absolutely outstanding and everybody has been there for each other, and every single guy has put up their hand for each other and took responsibility. That, at least, was wonderful to see. It’s impossible to go through but the way the guys have reacted and the calibre of people that work within this club is just amazing.”

Muller and his fellow Ulstermen are not inclined to make statements about winning trophies for Spence. That would be a handy narrative, but would almost be trite. It will be difficult to ever consider, watch or reflect on an Ulster match without thinking of Spence and so be it. They will seek to do justice to his memory, and carry Spence spiritually with them, every time they play, and in the process realise how fortunate they are.

“We’re not going to go out there and say we’re going to win every single game for Nevin. That’s just humanly impossible. There’s going to be great wins and there’s going to be terrible defeats, and that’s just the nature of rugby. But the one thing we can do is that we can go out there and play rugby with a smile on our faces. We can enjoy what we do, and we can really appreciate that we have the ability to still play rugby, be alive and enjoy what this world has to offer.

“The memory of Nevin Spence will never be forgotten and that will live with us not only through our rugby careers but through the rest of our lives. I think that’s the one thing we can cherish out of this.”

Friday’s game will mark the return of Tommy Bowe after his three-year sojourn with the Ospreys, with the Irish and Lions winger set to be included in Ulster’s match-day 22.

Their 19-year-old centre, Chris Farrell, who won his third full cap in the opening league win at home to Glasgow, has been sidelined for the rest of the season after damaging his anterior cruciate ligament in the Ulster Under-20’s meeting with their Munster counterparts at Deramore Park last Friday.