Saint's alive! Greavsie too as Setanta play generation game

TV VIEW:DID YOU ever wonder what happened Saint and Greavsie? No? Well, some of us have been curious about their whereabouts, noting with not inconsiderable alarm that their seminal ITV show ended a whole 17 years ago.

Since then we hopelessly lost track of Ian St John's movements, but spotted Jimmy Greaves the odd time writing a column for the Sun. His finest moment? A tribute to a fellow Spurs legend: "If I was Fabio Capello the only worry I would have is whether the England job drives you doolally, because on the evidence of Glenn Hoddle, I think it must."

But divil a sign of them returning to our screens – until Setanta dusted them down and brought them back during their nine hours of coverage – that’s nine – of Saturday’s FA Cup final. “We’ve been on the bench a long time,” said Greavsie. “We have,” said Saint. Honest, it was like watching Lassie coming come.

Just time for a quick preview of the final. Greavsie thought Didier Drogba would play a big part. “Defenders hate him. They hate him, defenders,” he said, which reminded us of why we loved the show in the first place: they kept it simple, none of this tactical analysis stuff.

And then they reminisced fondly about the good old days, every one of which incident recalled we somewhat disturbingly remembered, their favourite memory the time Donald Trump helped them do the draw for the quarter-finals of the mighty Rumbelows Cup.

Trump pulled Leeds out of his hat, pairing them with Manchester United. “WHOOooOOAH,” said Saint and Greavsie, declaring it the tie of the round, while Trump smiled a touch vacantly into the camera, evidently not knowing Leeds or United from a jar of pickles.

But Trump got a Saint and Greavsie mug as a thank you present, a prize as coveted in those days as the speedboat in Bullseye(even if most of the winners of the latter lived in inner-city Wolverhampton). They just don't make television like that anymore. Back then, Britain had talent.

Although, in fairness, Setanta tried to give their coverage of cup final day a nostalgic last-century feel, even hiring a helicopter (Setanta Chopper 1) to follow Everton’s team coach along the M25.

We presume Setanta Chopper 2 pursued Chelsea, but we might have missed it while we were keeping an eye on the Lions (was it just us or did Paul O'Connell look really embarrassed carrying that big cuddly lion down the tunnel? It was like something you'd have found on the Generation Gameconveyor belt).

Anyway, our early Setanta presenters (ie when there was still about five hours to go before kick-off) were James Richardson and Rebecca Lowe, the pair stationed high on the Wembley gantry. “We’re here working in an empty stadium,” said James, “now I know how Middlesbrough’s players feel”.

When they attempted to interview their guest, Stan Collymore, about the game ahead, 13-year-old Faryl Smith started rehearsing God Save the Queenon the pitch below. If you think you need your ears syringed save yourself some money and just look up her rendition on YouTube.

When Faryl was done Rebecca was finally able to ask Stan a question, although, in light of Stan’s history, it struck us a risque one: “Stan, the night before an FA Cup final how do the players de-nerve themselves?” Stan behaved, though, and gave a safe enough answer, which appeared to come as a disappointment to an eyebrow-wiggling James.

Time to pop over to the team hotels, where Setanta had reporters stationed. “Nothing to report,” was the gist of the reporters’ reports, largely because it was far too early for anything to be happening at all – the night porters hadn’t even finished their shifts. That’s the trouble with marathon build-ups.

Back to Wembley. “Faryl Smith has just finished saving the Queen, again,” said James, as rehearsal number 36 concluded. Stan, his ears bleeding, reluctantly half-tipped Chelsea, pointing out that “you cannot underestimate” their experience of the big occasion and that Guus Hiddink was “a massive tactician”. And with that Faryl was off again.

Setanta’s A team arrived soon after, among them Tel Venables. Tel reckoned it was just unthinkable for Chelsea to fail to beat Everton. “If they don’t win today they’ll have not won a trophy for two years,” he said, “and I tell you what, that will really give them a lot of brain damage.” “Right,” said Angus Scott, who clearly wished Faryl had started bellowing just before the ‘brain damage’ bit.

Then Kofi Annan was introduced to the teams. (Why? Don’t look at us). Then Faryl’s big moment arrived. And we mean BIG. And then – and we’re talking nutshells here – Chelsea won. Match report: Goalkeepers hate Frank Lampard. They hate Frank Lampard, goalkeepers.