New Zealand pummel Pumas as Rugby World Cup semi-final turns into a no-contest

Argentina 6 New Zealand 44

If this was a World Cup semi-final it was in name only, for it sure didn’t feel like one. To no one’s great surprise, this mismatch and most one-sided semi-final since the All Blacks beat Wales in Brisbane in 1987, by 49-6, was an inevitable consequence of the ridiculously premature and lopsided draw which ensured two of the top-four sides were evicted from the tournament in last weekend’s quarter-finals.

The two quarter-finals at this venue, light years from this fare, felt like a different sport.

That the two sides in question were the hosts, France, and the best supported away side, Ireland, also contributed to a Friday night semi-final that, as an occasion, bore absolutely no resemblance to any of the matches involving either France and Ireland which have lit up this World Cup.

There were a fair few sightings of Irish in the stands and straight from the kick-off the French contingent in the crowd immediately produced a defiant rendition of La Marseillaise, and for much of the evening vented their frustrations with Ben O’Keefe from a week ago on last night’s referee Angus Gardner.

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The lively pockets of Argentina fans also danced and chanted briefly as their team started relatively promisingly, and thereafter proudly broke into song, while faint chants of “All Blacks” were just about audible on a couple of occasions.

From the moment the All Blacks scored their first try in the 11th minute, and certainly after their second in the 16th, the outcome felt a foregone conclusion.

By the 50th minute, even in third gear, the All Blacks had cruised into a 34-6 lead, while the crowd had already resorted to a Mexican wave to liven up proceedings before another airing of La Marseillaise.

On the pitch, the Pumas’ once-feared scrum and maul has long since been a thing of the past, and such was the imbalance between the respective tight fives that, unsurprisingly, the All Blacks’ catch-and-drive made hay whenever they were inclined to do so.

Defensively, they always seemed to have the Puma attack comfortably under wraps, and most of all whenever the All Blacks’ recycling went up a gear, Argentina really struggled to work players back into line. It almost felt like the All Blacks could pretty much score whenever they wanted to, and they would have hit 50-plus had Richie Mo’unga not missed four of his seven conversions.

To add insult to injury, the All Blacks even voluntarily finished the game with 14 men by extending Scott Barrett’s sin-binning for a deliberate knockdown by an additional seven minutes.

Such was the lack of jeopardy in a loose contest that almost resembled one of those dissatisfying Super Rugby matches, the All Blacks were credited with missing 23 tackles – which was hard to believe – while the official match stats gave Argentina 49 missed tackles.

Argentina had plenty of the game but it was as if the All Blacks were a cat toying with a mouse. The Pumas were brave and spirited until the end, the prop Thomas Gallo making 19 tackles in his 67 minutes on the pitch. They actually started well, going through the phases following their own kick-off with some nice shape and some good work beyond contact by the ever-willing Facunda Isa, Marcos Kremer and loosehead Gallo, along with the typically quick feet of winger Mateo Carreras, but without any real penetration or any signs of generating some space on the edge.

These multi-phase attacks did lead to a couple of penalties by Emiliano Boffelli, the first opening the scoring inside five minutes, but in between times the All Blacks picked their moments for Jordan Barrett to win a turnover penalty and the recalled Mark Tele’a to complete a clean turnover.

From the first, the All Blacks imposed their lineout maul, earning two penalties for side entry and had an advantage for a third when Jordan Barrett pulled the ball back and Mo’unga’s floated pass gave Will Jordan a walk-in.

From the second, 10 mostly quickfire phases later – and after a deft passage of offloading by Codie Taylor, Tyrel Lomax and Sam Whitelock – Jordan’s pass enabled Jordan Barrett to finish in the corner despite the presence of three defenders.

Mo’unga landed a penalty and a first-half penalty count of 8-3 had Pumas boss Michael Cheika in high dudgeon on the sidelines approaching half-time. His mood only worsened as Tele’a beat four tackles before Smith and Mo’unga gave Shannon Frizell an almost contemptuous blindside walk-in and a 20-6 interval lead.

No team having ever recovered from a bigger deficit than seven points at half-time in a World Cup semi-final, the contest was as good as over. Any faint hopes of a contest developing evaporated when Aaron Smith broke off another maul, stepped his opposite number Gonzalo Bertranou, and dummied Mateo Carreras to score.

Soon after, Mo’unga added to his haul of breaks at this World Cup and a few phases later Frizell muscled over. As ever, there was little let-up when the All Blacks brought on their bench and, just past the hour, after a strong carry by Tamaiti Williams, Jordan was scoring his second try of the night untouched by the left corner flag from Finlay Christie’s blindside pass.

His third followed from inside his own 22 when taking Ardie Savea’s inside pass to skin three flailing and wilting defenders before chipping the last man and gathering to score, so taking his tally for the tournament to eight and thereby becoming its leading try-scorer.

He’s a machine.

SCORING SEQUENCE – 5 mins: Boffelli pen 3-0; 11: Jordan try, Mo’unga con 3-7; 16: J Barrett try 3-12; 35: Boffelli pen 6-12; 38: Mo’unga pen 6-15; 40 (+2): Frizell try 6-20; (half-time 20-6); 42: Smith try, Mo’unga con 6-27; 49: Frizell try, Mo’unga con 6-34; 62: Jordan try 6-39. 74: Jordan try 6-44.

ARGENTINA: Juan Cruz Mallia; Emiliano Boffelli, Lucio Cinti, Santiago Chocobares, Mateo Carreras; Santiago Carreras, Gonzalo Bertranou; Thomas Gallo, Julián Montoya (capt), Francisco Gómez Kodela; Guido Petti, Tomas Lavanini; Juan Martin Gonzalez, Marcos Kremer, Facundo Isa.

Replacements: Rodrigo Bruni for Isa (19-31 mins & 64); Matias Alemanno for Lavanini (h-t); Eduardo Bello for Gómez Kodela, Lautaro Bazan Velez for Bertranou (both 51); Agustín Creevy for Montoya, Matías Moroni for Chocobares (both 64); Nicolas Sanchez for Carreras (66); Joel Sclavi for Gallo (67).

NEW ZEALAND: Beauden Barrett; Will Jordan, Rieko Ioane, Jordie Barrett, Mark Tele’a; Richie Mo’unga, Aaron Smith; Ethan de Groot, Codie Taylor, Tyrel Lomax; Sam Whitelock, Scott Barrett; Shannon Frizell, Sam Cane (capt), Ardie Savea.

Replacements: Samisoni Taukei’aho for Taylor (51 mins); Finlay Christie for Smith, Damian McKenzie for B Barrett, Tamaiti Williams for De Groot, Fletcher Newell for Lomax (all 56); Brodie Retallick for Whitelock, Anton Lienert-Brown for Ioane (both 61); Dalton Papali’i for Cane (66).

Yellow card: S Barrett (65).

Referee: Angus Gardner (Australia).