Quotes of the week

"We have a shortlist and it's not that long."

- Manchester United managing director David Gill.

"I scored at Liverpool on the opening day of the season - a 'big balls' goal."

- West Ham's Paolo di Canio. Don't look at us, we dunno what he meant either.

"Soccer Boss In Sex Punch-Up"

- Tremendous headline in the Star that referred to a brawl between the wife and mistress of Darlington's commercial manager.

"People have got this preconceived idea of me as a fat bastard who can't move."

- Goal "keeper" Andy Goram. We're saying nothing.