No justice, now or then

Day 21. "Will you be watching the match tonight, your Majesty," asked the ITN reporter. "What time is it on," she asked. "Eight o'clock." "Oh, I think one should," she said. And if one did one would have understood why the planet is positively potty about the game of Association Football. Glorious, marvellous, wonderful, magnificent stuff. And that was only the first 10 minutes, it got better after that. You know that awful cliche, "It's a pity someone had to lose"? Well, it's a pity someone had to lose. The build-up to the game hinted that the English media might possibly be prisoners of the past, locked in a Handof-God time-warp. On Monday night's World Cup Encore on ITV, Ruud Gullit had had enough of it, by then he'd lost count of the number of times he'd seen replays of Diego's 1986 impression of Bomber Liston hand-passing the ball into the back of the net. "Look, it's not nice to lose a match like that, but you have to forget it, if you don't it will go on, go on, go on, go on, go on," he said, doing a fine Mrs Doyle impression.

"We remember '86 though, don't we Bobby, and that `goal'," said Jim Rosenthal, ignoring Ruud's plea to put the past behind him.

"Yes - I've forgiven him, but I won't forget it," insisted Bobby.

God lads, give it up will ye? Time to forgive and forget, no more "Gotcha" or "Up Yer Junta" headlines, time to embrace your enemies and look to the future. The past is the past, gone, over, finished, there's nothing you can do about it now.

So, who did you plan on supporting last night - England or Argentina? Me too. It'll take longer than 200 years for the wounds from 1798 to heal, I tell ya. Although it must have been difficult for Irish Argentina-supporting Liverpool fans not to at least politely applaud Michael Owen's wonder goal in the 15th minute. The boy's a bit special, as they say. What's it you were saying Glenn? He's not a natural goalscorer? Ahem. David Beckham? Poor, silly lad. If he thought he got a rough time from away supporters last season he ain't seen nothing yet.

"Batistuta became a father for the third time today," Bob Wilson told Terry Venables when ITV's coverage got under way. "That'll be the only hat-trick he gets tonight, that's for sure," said Tel, causing consternation in the living rooms of England. It was only when Batistuta was substituted in the second half that they exhaled. National anthems time. England had to hope that Tony Adams would defend better than he sang. He did. Sixth minute, penalty, Argentina. Tenth minute, penalty, England. "Was that a penalty," a doubtful Brian Moore asked Kevin Keegan. "It's as much a pen as the earlier one," he said, bringing a new meaning to balanced commentating.

Then Owen scored. "Absolute gem," said Johnny Giles at half time. "And what about his `penalty' - he dived, didn't he," asked Bill. "Yeah, but he did well to dive," said Liam Brady. "Ah c'mon, that's cheating," said a shocked Bill. "But all the Continentals do it - if you can't beat them, join them." Second half. Beckham lost the head, as they say. "Shearer's going to have to plough a long furrow up front now," groaned Keegan. Meanwhile Brian Moore was playing a blinder, repeatedly covering for Keegan who was having yet another poor game. Moore was entitled to sound close to tears every time Argentina launched an attack, it was England they were playing after all, but he was admirably impartial when it mattered - conceding it was a penalty for Argentina in the sixth minute; mentioning Scholes' propensity for diving when Keegan criticised the Argentinians for doing the same thing; accepting Beckham deserved to be sent off and admitting that the referee was correct to disallow Sol Campbell's "goal" because Shearer had elbowed goalkeeper Carlos Roa in the face . . . just as Keegan was launching in to a "We woz robbed" speech.

And then penalties. Funny thing happened - forgot all about 1798, rooted for England. ("You what," said Great Great Great Grandad, spinning violently in his grave). They deserved better. "There is no justice," said Bill at the end of an exhilarating night. He was right too.