Galwegian for Celtic job?

Having had his applications for the vacant managerial posts at Blackburn Rovers and Chernomorets Novorossiisk turned down earlier in the season Oliver Donelon, manager of Nightowls International League giants Galway City FC, is, his agent Paul Horan tells us, hoping for third time lucky. Yes, Oliver has written to Kenny Dalglish and offered his managerial services to Celtic in these troubled times, promising to make the club great again "or at least help them beat the likes of Inverness".

Some of Oliver's credentials for the job: "I live within eight miles of Athenry and so when the first verse of the 'Fields' is sung, I'll know exactly where the fans are singing about; Dressing room scuffles are nothing new to me, having managed Galway City FC for two years; I banned drink, sex and nationalistic sympathies at Galway City FC, even though it meant losing our star player, who was a sex-crazed, alcoholic, Basque revolutionary; I have seen Trainspotting - as a result, I may be able to understand, say, 15-20 per cent of what you are saying to me." You could do worse Kenny.