Five Ringed Circus

Modesty does not become Bolt

USAIN Bolt has been told to temper his celebrations after he again gave his signature, lightning bolt gesture for the cameras during the medal ceremony for his 200 metre win. But his showboating was suppressed quicker than a Tibetan protest in Tiananmen Square when IOC president Jacques Rogge questioned his sportsmanship. Rogge took exception to the exuberant celebration after the 100 metre win on Saturday when he pounded his chest even before crossing the line.

"I think he should show more respect, shake hands, give a tap on the shoulder to the other ones. Not making gestures like the one he made," said Rogge, demonstrating perfectly that even if the IOC let BMX into the Games, the members still don't get what the kids want.

Be the houses of the holy

LONDON 2012 is going to be "a whole lotta fun", starting with their eight-minute slot in the Beijing Olympics closing ceremony. Led Zeppelin lead guitarist and legend Jimmy Page and singer Leona Lewis are threatening to star in London's set, reportedly performing a stunning new version of the Zeppelin classic Whole Lotta Love (that was the Top of The Pops theme tune to you and me). LA Galaxy and England international soccer player and husband of Posh Spice, David Beckham, will play a cultural cameo role by kicking a ball off the roof of a London double decker bus. In the inimitable lyrics of the Zep - "Shake for me girl. I wanna be your back door man."

Pundits sent off beaten track

RTÉ television sought the views of 1992 gold medallist Michael Carruth after the story broke about Ireland's top show jumping horse Lantinus testing positive for chilli pepper (jumpers do love a good curry before a round).

Did they get the wrong boxer? Surely it was Steve Collins they were looking for, the only world champion to take to the cultured polo fields of the Phoenix Park for a chukka and a man who clearly understands our hoofed friends.

Never ask a girl her age

THIS is all terribly confusing. The IOC have asked the International Gymnastics Federation (FIG) to investigate claims that Chinese double gold medallist woman He Kexin is younger than the eligible age.

He (that is, she), registered at the Beijing Olympics as 16, before winning two gold medals. She (that is He) was registered as having been born on January 1st, 1992. Gymnasts must turn 16 in the year of the Games to be allowed to compete.

"Given that there have been some discrepancies regarding her age that have come to light, we have asked the FIG to look into this matter," said an IOC official.

He's (that is, her) age has been under scrutiny since the start of the Games and various media have reported she had competed in past events under a different birth date.

Yerrah Ara, time to chill

EVEN more irony from the self-regarding IOC after Swedish wrestler Ara Abrahamian binned his bronze medal in disgust at the scoring. The Greco-Roman behemoth shouted at the referee and then confronted the judges, before being restrained by team-mates. The row continued at the medal ceremony as he grudgingly mounted the podium to receive the medal. He then took off his "Chinese Mint" and left it in the centre of the competition mat.

Once the IOC regained consciousness after metaphorically passing out, they quickly stripped him of the medal he essentially threw away anyway. "It's all politics," said his coach.

We say respect to Ara, but test him for elevated levels of testosterone.