Cup's romantic flame still burns

Skinny viewing this time of year. On They Think It's All Over the other night, they were even reduced to having Jonathon Ross fondle a male streaker's wobbly bits - tennis balls attached to his torso, by the way - as sport's silly season struggled out of its winter hibernation. Anything to keep the ratings up.

Thank goodness for some tradition and, in football terms, nothing quite matches the FA Cup. "It's the romance of the cup, anything can happen," remarked Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson in Sky Sports' build-up (which dragged on for an eternity) to yesterday's live match with Fulham. And it's that very romance which helped explain the wall-to-wall soccer coverage of the last few days. Everyone, it seems, is captivated by the cup. Everyone rooting for the underdog.

With the money of Mohamed al-Fayed backing Fulham, it's hard to think of them as real underdogs. Sky showed al-Fayed strolling through the aisles of Harrods, and he told us that Craven Cottage, home to Fulham FC, was midway between his country home and the shop, so he dropped in on the team's training at least once a week.

"He pops down every once in a while, but never in his training kit . . . I don't imagine he's too mobile," said the injured John Collins, reduced to the role of studio pundit.

Still, match commentator Martin Tyler reminded us that five years ago they were struggling in Division Three and in danger of slipping out of the English League and, at another point, a merger with Queens Park Rangers was considered. So, maybe the underdogs tag was justified, even if they are destined to be rubbing shoulders with Manchester United and the other big guns in the Premiership next season.

The folk at Sky Sports did their best to acquaint us with what's happening at Fulham. Hugh Grant, the actor, was interviewed wearing a hat that looked like a dead cat on his head, and he insisted he was a born-and-bred Fulham supporter. And the thespian theme was continued when they also interviewed actor/singer Keith Allen, another dyed-in-the-wool Fulham man. A pretty strange sort of fellow too, we soon discovered.

Allen and his terrace friends have a habit of waving pink knickers over their heads during a match in honour of their Portuguese striker Luis Boa Morte and singing a song that goes along the lines of "B-O-A, B-O-A . . . Boa Morte . . . wears pink knickers every day." Hardly destined for number one in the charts, but Allen is a believer in what Jean Tigana is doing for his team.

"Fulham are bigger than just the joy of the cup. We don't see this as a one-off, it's an opportunity for the infrastructure of the club to get used to this every other week next year," insisted Allen.

We all know of Sky's infatuation with Manchester United, but the scene-setters did their best to lay the groundwork for a shock. "There's a buzz in the air that only the FA Cup can create," said the other studio guest, Steve Bruce, adding: "There's nothing quite like the third round of the FA Cup."

"Can they (Fulham) do it? Can they pull off a big shock," asked Richard Keys, as if he'd started to believe the hype. But Bruce wasn't willing to go that far and, so, Tyler brought us to a match which he described as being "made in heaven".

All the talk of underdogs and possible shocks seemed a mite silly when Ole Gunnar Solksjaer curled in his early goal - "the finish of Solksjaer is absolutely exquisite", we were told by Andy Gray - but Tyler reminded us that "the FA Cup comes with two faces, triumph and disaster" after Fabrice Fernandes equalised.

And Fulham's supporters - not to mention their players - seemed to be lulled into a comfort zone and the prospect of a replay in Old Trafford, until Teddy Sheringham came off the bench to score what Gray described as "one of the sweetest strikes you're likely to see . . . this tie's out of sight" in the dying minutes.

Meanwhile, it wasn't only the world's top players who stayed away from the World Matchplay Championship in Melbourne. So too did the Sky Sport's duo of Ewen Murray and Bruce Critchley, who were reduced to the role of bit players as analysts back in the studio and well away from greens that measured 12 on the Stimpmetre.

Instead, commentary came from the Fox Sports Australia team and, to be honest, Brett and Ossie and Ian and Warren - night owls got to know them on first-name terms by the end of the marathon - provided a refreshing change with the Aussie trait of not being afraid to call a spade a shovel.

Golf commentators tend to come with distinct styles. Those who try a bit of humour - remember Gary McCord at Augusta? His one-liner ("These greens are so fast they must bikini wax them!") got him banned from the commentary booth - and those who prefer to concentrate on the technical side of things. The Aussies managed to combine things extremely well.

Take the second day of transmission, in the wee hours of Thursday morning. The American Dudley Hart was having one of those days that hackers know only too well. In fact, the last place he wanted to be was on a golf course as his opponent, Nick O'Hern, simply destroyed him. "He's colder than a penguin in the middle of winter," the Aussie commentator told us as Hart missed yet another putt. "Yep," said his side-kick, "Dudley's known as the mini-volcano on the US Tour and it could be erupting any moment."

So it was that anyone holing a good putt was greeted with a roar from one commentator or other of good home-grown Aussie encouragement of "you little beauty" or "you little ripper" and, certainly, the action in the Ernie Els-Jean Van de Velde match gave them plenty of opportunities to get excited.

"Jean's striding around the green like a bantam rooster, his chest puffed out," remarked one of our Aussie friends. A few holes later, another tremendous bunker shot from Els had the same commentator gushing, "he's got sand everywhere, he practises out of it everywhere . . . his bedroom, bathroom, everywhere."

By yesterday's final, the commentary was a bit more sedate, but a job well done nonetheless and winner Steve Stricker's real tears when interviewed at the end showed that victory, more than money, is really what matters to these guys.