Is decluttering dead? ‘I have too much living to do, to spend my days cleaning’

For years Marie Kondo was revered as the goddess of tidy houses; her words and tutorials were pored over by avid fans keen to emulate her methods of ensuring there was no clutter in our lives.

But last month she shocked the world by announcing that her standards had slipped and she was no longer dedicating her days to achieving a mess-free existence. Since the birth of her third child, she has presumably realised that life is too short to spent tidying the trail of destruction that children naturally leave behind.

“Up until now, I was a professional tidier, so I did my best to keep my home tidy at all times,” she said in an interview with the Washington Post. “I have kind of given up on that, in a good way for me. Now I realise what is important to me is spending time with my children at home.”

Linda Hogan, for one, is relieved that “Marie Kondo has finally realised what is important in life”.

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“I never got why everyone was so obsessed with people like Marie Kondo or Mrs Hinch and their cleaning habits,” she says. “It was as if a whole generation, of mostly women, had reverted back to their grandmother’s day and spent their time talking about how to tidy their wardrobes or get a shine on their bathroom taps. We have come so far to get away from the notion that a woman’s place is in the home, to then willingly go backwards in time and harp on about cleaning products seems completely mad to me.

[ Róisín Ingle: Marie Kondo has given up cleaning? We have so much more in common now ]

“My house is always clean and it’s tidy enough – my family (husband and two children aged seven and 10) and I can relax there. We’re comfortable and most importantly it feels like home. I have too much living to do, to spend my days cleaning – life is short enough.”

But not everyone agrees.

Aisling Larkin, also a busy working mother of three (aged between four and nine), can relate to this as she loves everything to be ship shape. Firstly, because the nation sees inside her home during her cooking slot on the Six O’Clock Show on Virgin Media One, but also because a clean and tidy house makes her feel calm.

“I can’t focus, concentrate or think straight if the house is a mess,” she says. “But it’s very strange because if I’m in the middle of food styling, shooting a recipe, or developing menus, then I can happily work in a mess – I call it my creative, messy middle and is part of the process. But for anything else, I need clear, organised spaces to create calm in order to think.”

I can’t focus, concentrate or think straight if the house is a mess. But it’s very strange because if I’m in the middle of food styling, shooting a recipe, or developing menus, then I can happily work in a mess

—  TV chef Aisling Larkin

However, despite enjoying the end result, Larkin doesn’t enjoy the process.

“I hate housework,” she says. “I’m not one of those people who gets any joy or satisfaction from it – it’s the worse part of my week. I dread it, hate it, resent it and I’m in bad humour before and during. But when it is done, I feel seriously great. I think I get a rush of endorphins or dopamine, like a reward for the achievement. Also, I am huge on aromas and smells so I always finish my cleaning routine with a spritz of my Rituals room spray. It sends another message to my brain which is linked to pleasure and satisfaction for sure – so the sense of organisation and calm that a tidy house brings is immense.”

But, like Kondo, she is keenly aware that clutter-free rooms are not easy to achieve or maintain in a family home.

“When we moved into the house, we spent so long decorating and creating this beautiful stylish home, which is fab and I love when it is clean,” she says. “But it is also home to three creative, fun-loving, energetic, playful and messy children. They have a playroom. We purposely made it the biggest room in the house, but, truth be told, they spend a lot less time in there than I would like. They are still at that age where the “toy du jour” is dragged down to the kitchen and livingroom and plonked on the rug in front of the fire. In fact, the box of Lego which Santa brought has not left the livingroom yet.

With an open-plan livingroom and kitchen, Larkin likes to clean any mess on the counters or the island.

“I feel a bit uneasy until I clear it. If I am really tired after a long day, I try to turn my body the other way and pretend it’s not there, but in most cases, I will spend that last 30 minutes after the kids have gone to sleep cleaning the island before I can sit down.

“I can’t tell you the joy a clear, empty island brings me. It almost signifies the end of the busyness and chaos and all the events of the day – the breakfast, the lunch boxes, the dinner prep, the homework, the games, as well as me working from home, cooking and creating recipes and content. It all happens centred around that island, so there is definitely a ‘mind association’ with a busy island, a busy day and a busy mind. When it is clear, it allows me to clear my mind and my thoughts, almost giving me permission to rest and relax.”

[ ‘If we don’t control clutter, it will control us’: Five steps to a clutter-free home ]

Wayne Lawlor can attest to this as he can’t abide clutter and has a policy at home of making sure that all surfaces are clear of detritus.

“I need to have a tidy space because I can’t concentrate or focus when mess takes over my mind,” he says. “Keeping my place clean and tidy is so important and plays a part in my mental health – so all my cupboards are tidy and everything has a place and purpose. The sink needs to be clean and clear at all times and the counter has to be clean and cleared after using any appliances, so things like the toaster go straight away after use.

“I don’t leave the house unless it is tidy and know it will be clean when I return.”

The 37-year-old, who works in digital marketing and communications, says his family and friends are used to his need for tidiness, as he has always been the same.

“When I was growing up, I would argue with family as I would go mad because they were so messy,” he says. “And even now if the house is untidy when I visit, it annoys me, even though I don’t live there. When I was visiting my brother in Australia over Christmas I did loads of jobs (around the house) while he was out working as any messy spaces stress me out.

“At home, I have a sign on the stairs for people to take off their footwear before going upstairs, and Crossy, my mate and neighbour, sometimes brings his own glass if he’s drinking at mine because he’s nervous in case he breaks a glass. He also gets nervous when he’s eating here and always spills something. Of course I know people have to live and everyone lives differently – I just like my surroundings to be tidy and organised.”

Like Lawlor, Larkin loves order and likes nothing better than decluttering wardrobes and organising clothing to be vacuum-packed for the season – and says having an organised space makes her feel like the world is her oyster.

“I always feel that I don’t sleep as well when my room is cluttered or messy,” she says. “When I clean, hang up all the clothes and change the bed sheets, I am almost euphoric at going to bed that night. If my space is calm, then so is my mind and I have the best night’s sleep.

I do the classic ‘mom picking up’ [after the kids] every day. It is relentless, boring and exhausting – and I hate it. But doing a pantry clear out brings me joy

—  Aisling Larkin

“I am significantly more disciplined about my kitchen. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, on my counters except for my Kitchen Aid, my gold Smeg toaster and kettle, my Aarke water carbonator and two curated and strategically placed plants. That’s it – nothing else. I am religious about it.

“All the big jobs get done at the weekend, but I do the classic ‘mom picking up’ [after the kids] every day. It is relentless, boring and exhausting – and I hate it. But doing a pantry clear out brings me joy. I am excellent at letting go of things and am super organised about the stock rotation of the pantry. I rarely over-shop, so there will be one bag of rice, one box of pasta, one jar or honey etc. I am not one of these people who stocks up on four of everything. I don’t get it – I think the Kardashians may have had something to do with that notion with those huge pantries they have, but we don’t need it. It is all about discernment – buy quality over quantity – buy local and seasonal where possible – buy what you love, savour it, enjoy it and then let it go when it is gone. ”