Miriam Lord: Good start to new Dáil season for Mary Lou as she is made taoiseach for 10 seconds

A very pleasant start to the new political season for Sinn Féin.

The Ceann Comhairle, a little ring-rusty after the long summer break, called on taoiseach Mary Lou McDonald to get Leaders’ Questions under way, summarily dumping Micheál Martin as head of Government.

Micheál took it quite well, given that Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael used much of their think-in media time to issue danger warnings about the Shinners getting into power. As leader of the main Opposition party, Mary Lou was due to ask the first question.

“Taoiseach, please!” called Seán Ó Fearghaíl, signalling the off.

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Dáil Éireann observes a minute's silence for Queen Elizabeth II

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Micheál shot him a quizzical glance and remained in his seat. So too did the Sinn Féin president, because while winning the title is top of her special to-do list, she hadn’t been expecting the elevation quite so soon.

The Ceann tried again.

“Leaders’ Questions,” he barked briskly, beckoning at the Fianna Fáil leader to bowl the opener before twigging his mistake.

“Oooh, sorry!” he chortled, realising he’d mixed up his leaders.

He did a swift switcheroo as Sinn Féin TDs, cock-a-hoop, howled with laughter and burst into applause.

Eoin Ó Broin was thrilled for his boss. “You have it right. You got it right!” he shouted above the din, beaming at the Ceann Comhairle, who was busy apologising for being “definitely out of practice”.

They laughed too on the Government benches, but with considerably less feeling. Tánaiste Leo Varadkar managed a glacial smile.

Mattie McGrath of the Rural Independents thought the chair got it right the first time. No point in bothering with questions to Micheál Martin, he reckoned. “You might as well ask her. Sure he won’t answer anyway.”

As Micheál simpered into his briefing notes and Leo sucked his lemon, Mary Lou took full advantage.

“Ceann Comhairle, can I thank you for that unparalleled vote of confidence, I’m very touched,” she purred.

“Freud would be delighted,” gurgled Ó Broin, giddy to the rims of his Harry Potter glasses.

Party think-ins and Dáil debates signal start of political season

Listen | 40:55

Party think-ins have been happening, a cost of living crisis is raging and the Dáil is back today - so there is lots to discuss. Harry McGee and Pat Leahy join Hugh to talk about Sinn Féin's positioning, the cost of living package being prepared by the government, failing to meet climate commitments and the opportunity for Liz Truss to take control presented by the death of Queen Elizabeth II.

Later in the evening, his colleague and finance spokesman Pearse Doherty also seemed a bit confused about who is charge.

“May I say to you, on behalf of the Government, that it is time for the Government to wake up,” he opined during the party’s Private Members’ debate on the cost of living.

Back at the earlier jollities, even the British ambassador was smiling politely because that is what he does for a living. Paul Johnston was in Leinster House for the first Dáil sitting after the recess. Business commenced with a minute’s silence to mark the death of Queen Elizabeth ll, described by the Ceann Comhairle as “as a truly magnificent and inspirational head of our neighbouring state, whose years of dedicated service is truly without parallel”.

A book of condolences has been opened in the entrance hall, placed on a small table with a large silver-framed photograph of the late queen and a vase of freshly cut flowers.

During his short sojourn in the distinguished visitors’ gallery, his excellency was approached by a steady stream of politicians from across the political spectrum offering handshakes and words of sympathy. TDs are good at this part of the job. Many left clutching the ambassador’s business card.

Outside on Kildare Street the mood was completely different as large numbers of people representing a diverse collection of protest and lobby groups descended to make some opening-day noise.

Some were there to campaign on specific issues, such as the provision of cystic fibrosis therapy. Members of PETA protesting against hare coursing came dressed as dinosaurs (“make hare coursing extinct”), their choice of costume serving a comment on those TDs and Senators who support the practice.

The organisers of the cost-of-living protests planned later this month gathered to drum up publicity and deliver a taster of what they say will be the biggest national demo the country has seen in years. In the chamber, Richard Boyd Barrett of People Before Profit got his first plug in during Leaders’ Questions.

“People are being crucified. These hikes are simply not affordable for huge numbers of people and on Saturday the 24th of September at 2.30pm in Parnell Square, I expect there to be thousands, if not tens of thousands, of angry and frightened workers, pensioners, students, people with disabilities and ordinary people appealing to the Government once again to take decisive measures to protect them against a cost-of-living crisis,” he trumpeted.

Another group was very, very angry about a whole variety of issues. Fake news and vaccines, for example. And “nanabots”. That kind of thing.

At first, we thought one of them was calling Leo Varadkar a clown. Instead, she was vehemently asserting that Leo Varadkar “is a clone”. It’s hard to comprehend, but apparently the original Varadkar has been executed.

Working journalists were singled out for extra-strong invective: “Yis are a disgrace! Yis all should be ashamed of yourselves!” At one stage the Government Information Service had to open a gate around one side of Leinster House to allow journalists get to a press conference without having to run the gauntlet at the main entrance.

As the day wore on, the angry brigade got angrier, culminating in an afternoon tweet from People Before Profit’s Paul Murphy, who reported that he went outside to meet campaigning owners of defective apartments only to be “surrounded by a crowd of far-right activists shouting in my face and with one kicking me”. Gardaí helped to escort him to safety.

Shocking, disgraceful and absolutely unacceptable behaviour.

[ Paul Murphy TD says he was assaulted by members of far-right group ]

Some people are comparing deputy Murphy’s ordeal to the one suffered by Joan Burton and her adviser a number of years ago when they were trapped for hours in their car by protesters, including Paul Murphy and his megaphone. But while the two women may have been very frightened as the baying mob rocked their vehicle and refused to let them leave an event in Jobstown (they were eventually rescued by gardaí) they were not physically assaulted and Murphy was cleared on a charge of false imprisonment in a subsequent court case.

So while what happened in Jobstown in 2017 was also shocking, disgraceful and absolutely unacceptable, Murphy deserves every support following his entirely different mob experience.

Speaking of Jobstown and the surrounding area, the Taoiseach will not be in the Dáil on Thursday, as the Tánaiste or Green Party leader Eamon Ryan get a day in the hot seat. Instead, Micheál Martin is opening a big new Penneys store in Tallaght, where he can expect to get his ear bent a little bit more on the cost-of-living crisis.

And Wednesday’s first day back ended with the usual round of Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael parliamentary party meetings. They provided slim pickings for the eavesdropping political reporters as both meetings were poorly attended and the leakers had little to leak. No surprise there. The TDs and Senators are only back from their think-ins and are sick of the sight of each other.