FLAWED ANALYSIS

Sir, - I am in agreement with Mr Clerkin's criticisms of CIE (April 29th), but I find his analysis of the situation somewhat flawed. What Mr Clerkin realises (quite rightly) is that prostitution isn't a result of poverty, lack of education, etc., but he fails to realise that it is a result of the DART, not of the sale of condoms. Our surveys have revealed certain frightening consequences of the use of public transport such as the DART. For example, 90 per cent of students who fail their Leaving Cert have used public transport at some stage during the fortnight preceding their exams. The DART is also responsible for the increase in promiscuity, AIDS (all venereal diseases actually), inner city decline, scabies, world hunger, racism, fascism and the appalling attacks on the one and only true faith. Drug pushing on the DART isn't a result of condom vending machines on CIE premises, it is in fact, like the vending machines, part of the DART's invidious attempts to destroy the moral order and create a pluralist (to use a dirty word) society. I for one am calling for an immediate, closure of all public transport, in addition to all public broadcasting, newspapers, magazines, schools and libraries, and a return to the good old days when people did what they were told. (Or you never know we could end up like that paedophiles' mecca, Holland, where - I am reliably informed - they have a very good system of public transport.)

Yours, etc.,

Chair,

Society for the

Preservation Of Crackpots,

(SPOC),

Shanakiel,

Cork.