Mocking the stupid sexist ban

REARVIEW:IF I WORE a hat, I'd take it off to the brave women in Saudi Arabia going out in their cars to challenge their country's ban on female drivers.

In fairness, it must be noted that the Saudi authorities insist the ban is in place to protect vulnerable women from predatory men.

Which strikes me as tosh. Not only is it hideously patronising, but it’s an indictment of that society’s ability to safeguard its own citizens.

By sticking to this defence, the Saudis make themselves look like fools. Equally, if they come clean and admit the ban is purely down to unadulterated sexism, then they look like Neanderthals. Either way, they can’t win. Fair-minded folk can’t argue with that. Or can they?

“I reckon we could learn from the Saudis,” said a homegrown Neanderthal I met. “Women are rubbish at driving. They’re a danger to the rest of us.”

Was he joking? I wasn’t sure.

“If women are so bad at driving, why do most fatal crashes involve young men?” I retorted. “An idiot is an idiot, regardless of their gender.”

He wasn't listening, having buried his head back in his copy of Troglodytes Monthly.

This exchange got me thinking. Maybe women should be barred from Irish roads. It’d do wonders for the economy, for one.

Statistics show that women crash less. So if only men were allowed to drive, there’d be more garages working on crash repairs, more insurance agents processing claims, more fuel used by leaden-footed male motorists, more overtime for gardaí. The list goes on.

So I say ban women drivers to kickstart the economy. You know it makes sense.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to hospital to get my tongue, which is firmly wedged in my cheek, looked at before it bursts through.