Hosting Ukrainian refugees: ‘It was the best decision I ever made’

When her family first took in a 19-year-old Ukrainian refugee a year ago, Kathleen McKiernan was more surprised about what she noticed about herself rather than their guest during the hosting arrangement.

“I didn’t realise I was a fanatic about recycling. I am. When I saw someone not doing it, I realised: oh look, you’re neurotic about recycling,” she said.

A married mother of three living in west Clare, Ms McKiernan signed up to host a refugee in the weeks after the Russian invasion of Ukraine in February 2022.

The family are one of several thousand who have hosted Ukrainian refugees in their homes in response to the tens of thousands who fled to Ireland following the outbreak of war.

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“I suppose, personally, I was expecting it to be a real hardship on us and it hasn’t been,” Ms McKiernan told The Irish Times.

The 19-year-old Ukrainian woman they hosted had fled her home during “the first night of the war,” she said. “She expected to go home after a couple of days and several weeks later she ended up in Ireland in my kitchen,” she said.

“We were strangers, she was young and on her own and she had to get to know Irish culture. We talked more than her, we talked over her sometimes ... But we all settled into a nice routine,” she said.

The young woman “did her very best” to integrate into the community, taking English classes and finding a full-time job, she said.

Ms McKiernan recalled the nerves driving to the airport to pick her up initially. “I had moments where I thought ‘oh my gosh, what am I doing’? I’m bringing a stranger into my house,” she said.

“It was the best decision I ever made, and our family ever made, for us as a family, for her, for everyone,” she said.

The young woman stayed with the family for seven months, before moving out and renting a house in Kilrush, where she ended up hosting another Ukrainian refugee. “She did a great thing herself and she did that out of her own pocket,” she said.

The young woman had since returned to Ukraine, where she was happy, Ms McKiernan said.

“They want to go home ... They want to be with their family and their friends, the vast majority of them don’t want to be in a strange country, living in strangers’ houses and sharing a kitchen,” she said.

The vast majority of neighbours had been supportive when they heard the family were hosting a Ukrainian, she said.

“I don’t know how many black bags of clothes that she didn’t want arrived to our house when people found out she was there,” she said. “Yeah, you will meet the odd negative lad in a pub, but he’s negative anyway,” she said.

The family had since taken in two more refugees, a mother and her 11-year-old child, she said.

It was only a “tiny minority” of Irish people who were opposed to refugees and making “a show”, she said.

Another host, Harry Laird (69) and his wife Teresa, took in a Ukrainian mother and her 12-year-old daughter this April.

“We interact a lot, but they have their way and we have our way, we eat alone and they eat alone and that’s their choice,” he said.

“All the fears you have as usual like most fears are unfounded. We’ve just found it has worked a dream,” he said.

He said he was aware in some cases hosting arrangements had not worked out for some people. “Sometimes it may not be the Ukrainians that are the problem,” he added.

The couple decided to take in refugees because people “were in trouble,” Mr Laird said. “If we were in the same boat, we’d want help,” he said.

The hosts were among more than 80 people at a public meeting on Wednesday evening in Swords, north Dublin, organised by Helping Irish Hosts, a group set up to provide support to Irish families taking in Ukrainian refugees.

Angie Gough, who set up the organisation, said its WhatsApp group chat that started out with just two members now had more than 800 people in it.

The group had helped match 1,700 hosts and Ukrainian refugees together, she told the meeting.

“We are a big and lovely part, and the best value for money part, of Ireland’s response to Ukraine,” she said.