Thinking Anew: Attending to the victim – our restorative God

Punishment is a powerful impulse in our culture. Deep in our psyches we have a desire for retribution, to get even, an eye for an eye. Even young children possess this instinct for fairness.

God’s focus is different. Does God actually even punish? Did he punish Herod, or Hitler? Is he punishing Putin? We don’t know.

Perhaps God is not interested in punishment because it doesn’t work. It doesn’t repair the harm that has been done or the relationships that have been damaged.

I believe that God’s concern is with the ones who have actually been harmed. God’s justice is about restoring to the down-trodden ones the abundant life which is his plan for all that he has made.

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Our criminal justice system is all about punishment. If I commit a robbery, my crime is not considered to be against the person I have robbed, but against the state. Sentenced to time in prison, I am neatly removed from my community and everyone I have harmed. Nothing invites me to face the consequences of my crime. Locking me up may actually fill me with resentment and self-pity, and statistics clearly show I am more likely than not to reoffend and be returned to prison.

In the meantime, the victim of my crime is excluded from the whole justice process. The harm I have done them remains. Their questions are unanswered. They are marginalised.

In the church, this offender-centred culture continues. Our gospel message centres around the needs of the offender, as if God’s main preoccupation is with our sinfulness.

Near the start of our liturgies, we ask God for forgiveness for all we have done wrong.

Don’t hear what I’m not saying – we all need forgiveness! But where is the mention of God’s own people – the bullied, the abused, the down-trodden? As in our justice system, the sinned-against are sidelined in our churches, even though time and again we are told in the Bible that they are the ones for whom Jesus specifically came. A restorative process is far closer to God’s heart than the most efficient punishment.

One of the children in our church family experienced bullying at school recently. I will call him John. During PE, a girl tripped over and John accidentally bumped into her head; she was hurt, and crying. Two other lads saw this and started kicking John in retaliation, then said to him, “We’re not finished with you yet, we’re going to get you tomorrow.” John was terrified (the poor little scrap) and refused to go to school the next day. He was up all night crying.

I saw John last week and asked him how it was going at school, and he said “Good!” On return to school the head-teacher had called him into his office along with the two boys who had kicked him. They’d all told their side of the story and what they’d been thinking and what they’d been feeling. The boys said sorry to John for getting the wrong end of the stick and for being cruel to him and making him afraid, and then they all shook hands and it was fine.

This simple, childish example may be easily dismissed, but (thanks be to God) the school was intentionally using a restorative approach to deal with what had happened. We all know that if bullying is dealt with badly, or not at all, it can be toxic and damaging. Some schools would have punished the bullies, but would that have left John less afraid, helped the boys understand the effect of their behaviour, or repaired the relationships?

When Jesus came, he came in solidarity with an oppressed, abused people, under the cosh of the Roman empire. Yet Jesus wasn’t there to punish the Romans or show them who was boss, even though many around him were longing for him to do this. He came to pay attention to the neglected ones, to put them centre-stage.