Settling into school: pupils do best when they feel safe, connected and that they belong

Change and transition in our lives is inevitable and September marks one of the most significant periods for transitions within education. As parents/guardians grasp the hands of their junior infants tightly on their first day of school, there is a significant letting go for those supporting their children’s transition into post-primary education. As young people complete their educational journeys in our post-primary system, they are forced to make that leap onward in their lives, whether it is to study in further/higher education, travel the world, or enter the workplace. While, on the face of it, all of these transitions appear quite different and distinctive in nature, they are often underpinned by common features, feelings and emotional responses.

Change and transitions bring with them a myriad of emotions including anticipation of the unknown, fear, excitement and hope. Starting something new in education can be daunting, from the first day in pre-school right through to entering the lecture halls of further or higher educational institutions. Each of these experiences brings with them an element of the unknown. This includes navigating the physical spaces of education (where to go, how to get there), the relational dynamics of learning (making friends, getting on with teachers/educators, not being left out) as well as the more functional aspects of our institutions (timetables, resources, uniforms/dress code, behavioural policies and practices).

The early stages of educational transitions can be experienced as overwhelm, presenting itself as emotional outbursts/withdrawal, physical tiredness or the need to expend energy, sensory and processing overload and anxiety about getting it all right. Families play an integral role in supporting children/young people navigate these transitions and overcome the associated overload. Indeed, the ripple impact of educational transitions on wider familial dynamics can often be overlooked, particularly as children and young people strive for greater independence and expand their social worlds beyond their immediate family.

Resistance

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It is unsurprising that transitions in education can sometimes result in resistance manifesting through micro-actions (such as withdrawal or refusal to participate) and more macro-actions (such as a refusal to attend). Such resistance can be especially challenging for parents/guardians supporting their child/young person as they learn to navigate their new identity, not only in education, but as active citizens in our societies. This critical and fragile process of identity renegotiation requires gentle care and nurturing tailored to the needs of the individual child/young person.

To move on in life, we often have to let go. This is no less true for educational transitions. While often we believe our children and young people are ready for change/transition (and often they are), it is also important to acknowledge that change demands a process of saying goodbye, letting go of the knowns (such as routines/people/physical spaces) to embrace unknowns. It can be argued that there is an element of grief woven into this process, often expressed through an emotional response such as sorrow and sadness.

As with any transition in life, time encourages acceptance. Such is true for children and young people experiencing educational transitions. The pent-up anxiety and excitement that marks a first day in education quickly dissipates as the unknown slowly evolves into the familiar, marking the end of the beginning and the acceptance of the new way of knowing and being in the world. It is critical this transition to acceptance is a positive and supported experience to ensuring our children/young people feel they belong in education. This is especially true for children/young people with additional learning needs.

Being there

And though the physical holding of a hand becomes outgrown, the constant presence of parental/guardian support remains a critical factor in attaining the best outcomes for the child/young person as they traverse the highs, lows and in-betweens of the journey. Part and parcel of this transition is parental/guardian concerns for the child’s wellbeing and common worries about their ability to make good choices and cope with life as it develops in complexity. The most effective means of supporting the wellbeing of a child/young person is to maintain a continuum of care and support running parallel to the continuum of education. The image of holding the child’s hand is more profound and meaningful than it may appear. Children and young people are at their best when their parents/guardians are reliably present and metaphorically holding their hand. They need to be seen, given time, listened to, and know that they are safe and valued. They need to have an environment where they can share their upsets and joy with someone who wants to listen and support their world.

Familiarity and belonging breed success in education. As children and young people become more familiar with their new surroundings, their sense of belonging grows contributing to greater self-confidence. Building relationships with peers and those working in the educational setting is especially important to ensuring success. As feelings of fear and anxiety recede, they make way for feelings of enthusiasm and anticipation for what’s ahead in this new phase of their educational journey. It is important to support our children/young people to make educational transitions in positive ways to ensure they feel safe, connected and, most powerful of all, that they belong in education.

Dr Deirdre McGillicuddy is a Mam of a first year post-primary student and 2 primary school children, a primary school teacher and Assistant Professor in Education in University College Dublin.

Andrew McGrane is a father of four adult children and an IACP registered psychotherapist specialising in adolescent and family therapy.

Dr Deirdre McGillicuddy is a mother of a first year post-primary student and two primary schoolchildren. She is also a primary schoolteacher and assistant professor in education in University College Dublin.

Andrew McGrane is a father of four adult children and an IACP registered psychotherapist specialising in adolescent and family therapy.