Seinfeld's top ten funnies

SMALLPRINT:WITH THE announcement that Jerry Seinfeld (right) is Dublin-bound for a gig in the O2 in May it's time to have a look back at Jerry Seinfeld's Top 10 Gags Ever.

10. “Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.”

9. “I was the best man at the wedding. If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?”

8. “Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a coke machine. You cant do it in one push, you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.”

7. “Why do they call it a ‘building’? It looks like they’re finished. Why isnt it a ‘built’?”

6. “Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there’s no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.”

5. “Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason.”

4. “Are there keys to a plane? Maybe thats what those delays are sometimes, when youre just sitting there at the gate. Maybe the pilot sits up there in the cockpit going, ‘Oh, I dont believe this. Damnit . . . I did it again.’”

3. “I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren’t cows outside a lot of the time? When it’s raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, ‘Let us in! We’re all wearing leather! Open the door! We’re going to ruin the whole outfit here!’”

2. “Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV.”

1. “It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."