Film

The 10 worst films of 2023

We’ve already told you our favourite movies released in Ireland this year. Here are the ones we hated

Empire of Light: Vacuous Oscar bait. Photograph: Parisa Taghizadeh/20th Century Studios/PA

Donald Clarke
Tara Brady
Mon Dec 11 2023 - 05:30

10. The Marvels

Directed by Nia DaCosta. Felt like the severed stub of a longer but probably not much better Marvel romp.

[ The Marvels review: The Marvel Cinematic Universe disappears up its own black hole ]

9. Heart of Stone

Directed by Tom Harper. We all like Jamie Dornan. And Gal Gadot is ... also in the film. But spare us “I can’t believe it’s not Mission: Impossible”.

8. Empire of Light

Directed by Sam Mendes. This vacuous Oscar bait, a nostalgia piece set in a coastal cinema, has already become a film that never existed.

[ Empire of Light: Sam Mendes’s beautifully made new film doesn’t quite hang together ]

7. Stars at Noon

Directed by Claire Denis. There is every chance that the delightfully erratic Denis will follow-up this flat-footed Central American romance with a masterpiece.

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6. No Hard Feelings

Directed by Gene Stupnitsky. With all solidarity to our comrades in the WGA, the crummiest beta AI could produce a funnier movie than this Jennifer Lawrence vehicle.

[ No Hard Feelings review: Jennifer Lawrence may need to have a word with her agent ]

The Whale

5. The Whale

Directed by Darren Aronofsky. Yes, Brendan Fraser won an Oscar for shouldering a fat suit in this glutinous slab of overstretched dinner theatre. There she blows (and indeed sucks)!

[ The Whale: It stars Brendan Fraser in an Oscar-nominated performance. But this film’s a shocker ]

4. The Exorcist Believer

Directed by David Gordon Green. What possessed them? Ha ha! Geddit?

[ The Exorcist: Believer - What possessed them? ]

3. Luther: The Fallen Son

Directed by Jamie Payne. Hugely optimistic attempt to relaunch Idris Elba’s good detective show as bad film series.

Transformers: Rise of the Beast

2. Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

Directed by Steven Caple jnr. After making a fine spin-off in Bumblebee, the Transformers people, like the proverbial dog, returned to their vomit.

[ Transformers: Rise of the Beasts – A miserable one star for this numbingly tedious mayhem ]

1. Haunted Mansion

Directed by Justin Simien. Hopelessly confused theme-park-derived horror comedy edges ahead with its shameless attempts to flog you rubbish at every turn. Food, games ... stationery?

[ Haunted Mansion: A group of people are trapped in a darkened space. And that’s just the audience ]