Brace yourself, Brigid: Tips to look after your husband from a 1950s publication

‘Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure’

Now the hurly-burly’s done, now the referendums are lost and won, let us consider that which is no more but gone forever from the male order of things.

The below is from a 1950s American publication that reflected thinking on the role of women throughout the “free” world within the lifetime of many readers, titled “Tips to look after your husband”, taken from a home economics book.

Brace yourself, Brigid.

Under the heading Have Dinner Ready, it advises: “Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready. This is a way of letting him know you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.”

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It says: “Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay [old meaning of the word!] and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.” Moving quickly on.

“Clear away the clutter” so he will feel “he has reached a haven of rest and order”, and “prepare the children”, making sure they are neat and tidy as “he would like to see them playing the part”. Calmness is essential, so “eliminate all noise of washer, drier, dishwasher or vacuum”. Encourage the children “to be quiet” and “greet him with a warm smile”.

But, no problems or complaints. “Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he may have been through that day.” Have him “lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a soft, low, soothing and pleasant voice.”

Yes, “you may have things to tell him” but “let him talk first”. And “never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure.”

The home should be “a place where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.”

Guys, where did it all go wrong?

History, from Latin historia, Greek historia, for “narrative of past events”.

inaword@irishtimes.com