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Mother and children fled to refuge after ex-partner ‘arrived at home with meat cleaver’

In separate case, woman tells court it is a ‘hard thing’ to seek protection order against son, ‘who is also suffering’

A young woman who fled to a refuge with her children after her former boyfriend allegedly arrived at her home with a meat cleaver and smashed windows has secured a protection order.

The man, who is not the children’s father, locked the woman and children into the house over a weekend and they have since been in a women’s refuge for more than two weeks, Dublin District Family Court heard.

In a separate case, Judge Deirdre Gearty granted a protection order to a homeless young mother of a one-year-old after she alleged her former boyfriend, while out on bail, arrived high on drugs at her bed & breakfast accommodation demanding access to their child and “ransacking the place”.

‘High on drugs’

The man has been violent towards her and sends her abusive texts, she said. She was willing to have him see the child “but not when he’s high on drugs”.

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The cases were among some 30 applications before a court sitting held on Friday to deal with emergency ex parte (one side only represented) applications. Most were for interim protection orders, enforceable by gardaí, which require the subjects to refrain from threatening or violent behaviour pending the return date. There are separate proceedings in some of the cases.

A mother, the sole custodian of her young son, secured an order requiring his father to produce him in court next week. She alleged the man, her estranged partner who now lives abroad with a new partner, had failed to abide by an agreement to return the boy to her after the summer holidays so he could resume school here.

“I was pretty much ghosted and told on the day he was due back that basically he would not be coming back at all,” the mother said.

The applicants represented themselves in all but one of the cases heard. After the judge informed them they could apply on the premises for legal aid, several said they would.

Alcohol abuse, drug addiction and mental health issues were contributory factors to several applications. Several were aimed at protecting older parents from the behaviour of their adult children.

One man, aged in his 70s, showed the judge bruises on his arms following an incident where his adult son, who is living in the family home, allegedly punched him on the arms and around the body.

A woman secured a protection order against her adult son, aged in his 50s and living in her home, who she said has mental health issues and has mentally and physically abused her. She said this led to her being treated in hospital for anxiety and that he had attacked her daughter the previous night.

The woman said it was a “very hard thing” to seek a protection order against her son, who she said was also suffering. “It’s not that we haven’t tried everything,” she said, outlining contacts with the Health Service Executive and others to try and get a place for him.

‘Heavy heart’

The judge said no parent seeks such orders “without a heavy heart” but the woman had to protect herself.

Another woman obtained a protection order against her daughter, aged in her 40s. She said her daughter had come to her home with her boyfriend when both were drunk. Her daughter, whose bare feet were bleeding, demanded entry and money, she said. On a previous occasion, she said her daughter assaulted her, leaving her needing stitches to a head wound.

“I worked hard to buy the house and now I’m retired and she wants the money off me,” she said. “I just can’t handle it.”

A protection order was granted to a man who claimed his estranged wife was “persistently invading” his personal life, making “endless accusations” and causing distress to their young son, himself and his girlfriend.

During one incident, as he tried to drive away after asking his ex-wife “maybe 10 times” to leave, she opened the rear door of the car where their son was seated, he said.

In another case, the judge ruled a man was not entitled to a protection order against his estranged wife. The judge noted that the man had sent emails to the woman containing articles about narcissistic personalities and alleged she is “passive-aggressive” and demeaning of his parenting skills in relation to their 10-year-old son.

The judge said she could not see any emergency situation that arose in this matter.

Denied affair

A protection order was granted to a woman who said her husband of some 20 years had become violent after she confronted him over his having an affair. He initially denied the affair, but later told her she cannot stop it and he was returning to his native country to marry the other woman and have more children, she said.

When she confronted him, she said, he shoved her twice in the presence of the children and told her he would kill her if she did anything. She rang gardaí who told her when they arrived that they could not ask her husband to leave the house.

“I feel anything could happen,” she said.

Having granted a protection order, the judge returned the matter to November when a barring order application may be made.

Mary Carolan

Mary Carolan

Mary Carolan is the Legal Affairs Correspondent of the Irish Times