This is an order - visit DangerHere.com and have a look at their section devoted to Today FM's English Premiership commentator Tom Tyrell.

Highlights? (1) "Everybody's swinging at it - it's like those little men on twirly things you have in the pub." (2 ) "And there's a free-kick now in the box, just in that little space between the 18-yard line and the six-yard line, that little incomplete rectangle. I don't know what you'd call that geometrically, that three-sided rectangle . . ." (3) "Most of the play is in the middle of the pitch, like a giant Easter egg." (4) "It needed to be six inches lower to maybe have crept in" (after Teddy Sheringham hit the bar). (5) "A braver centre forward may have done better there - not taking anything away from Dennis Bergkamp's bravery." (6) "It's Tottenham 5, Spurs 0. Only joking, it's still nil-nil." (7) "Great ball. Gooalll. No. Yes. Goal-kick" (8) "Kanu, who almost created the first goal minutes before it was scored." (9) "Henry had wandered lonely as a cloud to be 15 yards offside." And "a challenge by Lauren, excellent tackle by the Frenchman" (Lauren is from the Cameroon). And (in the same match) " speaking of Dutch total football, here's Wiltord" (yep, Wiltord's French).