Leinster SFC/Laois v Offaly: When Darren Rooney says he'll take a number and call back you have to wonder. These are anxious days in Leinster football. Two quarter-finals in Croke Park, and high stakes for the four teams involved. Managers are fretting and the players have been warned. Whatever you say, say nothing.
So the champions Westmeath have been gagged - told to shut up altogether. Kildare are more or less speechless, as any team would be after being frightened to death by Wicklow. And Offaly don't want to talk too much about Laois in case they talk too much about revenge. You robbed us two years ago! What chance then of the busiest player in Laois calling back?
Last Sunday he was helping the Laois hurlers beat Dublin in the Leinster quarter-final, was working all week, and tomorrow he'll play at full back for the Laois footballers in their latest clash against Offaly. Like a man running for election he's got no time to lose.
But when Rooney does return the call he not only sounds like he's got all the time in the world, he also talks about Laois winning back the Leinster title (that's more like the spirit), and how it's about time they won an All-Ireland too (that really is the spirit). It's not that he suddenly craves the recognition. For the past three years he's been quietly going about his business in the Laois defence, featuring at right half back throughout their successful run through Leinster in 2003 and slightly less memorable run last year.
At the same time, he's been helping the Laois hurlers along their slow and steady path of progression. Last summer he famously played for the hurlers against Offaly just 24 hours before playing for the footballers against Carlow.
Rooney could be one of the last of the dual species to operate at senior intercounty level, yet he has no intention of backing down anytime soon.
"The hurling is hugely important to me," he says. "People don't realise the great commitment the hurling team are putting in. There's great unity there, and we go out at the start of every year to win as many games as we can. So beating Dublin was a great boost, because we had come so close in recent years.
"I'm lucky that I have two very understanding managers. I do have to commit more time to football, and the training there is a lot more physical, but Paudie Butler has been very understanding of that. Hopefully, I can handle the two games for the rest of the summer.
"But it does take an awful lot of time, and I think it all depends on your lifestyle situation. I know it would be very different if I had a wife and a couple of young kids, but right now I'm lucky enough that I have the bit of time on my hands, but basically that means if I'm not working then I'm playing either football or hurling. And right now I wouldn't have it any other way."
ROONEY'S PLACE of work is the Garda station in Tallaght, where he's been based for the past two years, and where he often exchanges words of hurling wisdom with Kilkenny's Eddie Brennan. His home from home is now Lucan, and from there it's a straight road to Portlaoise, a road he'd sometimes have to travel five nights a week - heading to football training on a Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and hurling training on a Tuesday and Thursday.
Hurling manager Butler was more than happy to let Rooney maintain his dual love affair, but for Mick O'Dwyer, perhaps the ultimate football purist, a little more persuading was necessary.
"I know Micko would rather I didn't play the hurling, but in fairness to him he didn't stand in my way. All he said was if I get injured don't come back to him."
Laois selector Declan O'Loughlin believes he is up to the challenge of maintaining both codes: "I don't think Micko would say no to Darren," says O'Loughlin, "because hurling could well be his first love. So Micko has given him the benefit of the doubt, and let him play both. We're delighted he got through last Sunday, but he's a big, strong man, and hopefully, will make another success of playing at full back for us this Sunday."
Like many of his county comrades, Rooney first sprang to prominence as part of the Laois minor team in 1997, which delivered a second successive All-Ireland title for the county.
Joe Higgins, Tom Kelly and Brian McDonald also took that route to senior stardom, although Rooney did opt out of the football panel for a couple of years when his studies took him to Galway.
Now aged 26, he is clearly in the prime of his career: "Yeah, that minor success was the beginning of it all for me really. But it took us a while to come through. We've only got the one Leinster title to show for it now in the last seven years, and that's not really good enough.
"There were a few years there when we didn't have much luck, but I do believe you make your own luck. We're still a pretty young bunch and there is still time to enjoy some more success.
"So we definitely want to win another Leinster title. And ultimately an All-Ireland. We know now that it just doesn't happen no matter how much success you've had as a minor. You have to go out and make it happen."
Considering how close they came to beating Armagh in the All-Ireland quarter-final two years ago, Laois have every reason to believe they can climb football's highest mountain.
O'Dwyer certainly believes they can, but over the winter the Kerry maestro sensed some cracks in the level of commitment, and figured it was time to play one of his old tricks - and threatened to stay put in Waterville for the summer.
"Well, I suppose that's just his way of doing things," says Rooney. "I think he felt he needed to stir things up a little, but I don't think he was ever going to go.
"If he was going to give it the full commitment he wanted to make sure the players were prepared to give it too.
"But look, it's got the lads focused again, so it worked. We've all pulled together again and the mood in the panel is very good."
ROONEY'S OWN devotion was never questioned. He played in all seven matches in the National Football League, and joined the hurling panel for the concluding rounds of their league. He was also playing Sigerson football with the Garda College. The easy thing to do would be to put all his energies into football, but that would mean letting down the team he believes are more than worthy of equal commitment.
"Obviously, the gap in hurling is much bigger than football when it comes to chasing Leinster honours, but we all saw what Wexford did to Kilkenny last year when no one gave them much of a chance. And we have a great bunch of players on the hurling panel, with the likes of James Young a really class hurler.
"We all respect Paudie so much, and appreciate what he's trying to do. I've seen the commitment the hurlers put in and it's exactly the same as the footballers. And I'd say the commitment is the same as any other hurling county trying to win an All-Ireland.
"So playing a part in both teams is really what I want to be doing. And I think I do thrive on it. I'm playing football in Croke Park and a hurling match there too next month against Wexford. That's what it's all about."
Right now, though, all his thoughts are on Offaly. Like the rest of the Laois team he will never forget the events of two years ago:
"That match will inspire Offaly, without a doubt. We know we were lucky to get out of that game and Offaly know they were robbed.
"And then they had that situation against Westmeath last year, and the point that never was. Some people are saying we're the favourites, but that means nothing to us, because we know whenever Laois play Offaly there is no such thing as favourites. We know either of us will be lucky to come through it."