A make-do-and-mend attitude is needed if Ireland are to overcome top opposition.
TONY HART was buried a week ago and, if the man himself had anything to do with it, his coffin would have been built of egg cartons and his funeral shroud held together by dry macaroni.
Hart, the creator of Morph and something of a hero of mine, was the king of make-do-and-mend decades before the world was plunged into financial meltdown, so at least he could journey to that great studio in the sky safe in the knowledge that his former fans would not waste valuable winter fuel allowances in over-priced art shops.
Football is not quite rummaging through the rubbish bins – not yet, at least – but there was something peculiarly Hartian in the news last week that Angelos Anastasiadis, the new Cyprus manager, had instructed his backroom staff to conduct background checks on players bobbing around in the murkier waters of the English leagues to see who might be eligible for his side.
Anastasiadis, having taken a leaf out of Jack Charlton’s Big Book of Genealogy, might be disappointed to find that the best his minions have come up with is Jason Demetriou, an attacking midfielder whose efforts have lifted Leyton Orient to the giddy heights of 21st in League One and who could yet find himself playing a pivotal role in his adopted country’s World Cup qualifying campaign.
That traumatic night in Nicosia notwithstanding, Ireland should consider themselves a cut above the likes of the Cypriots, and yet even Giovanni Trapattoni might complain that his resources have been credit-crunched when he studies his squad list for Wednesday’s encounter with Georgia.
If it wasn’t enough that 10 of the 24 players named by the Italian last month hailed from the Championship, there was also something disheartening in seeing the Premier League’s established big four supplying just three names: John O’Shea and Darron Gibson from the fringe of Manchester United’s first team squad, and Robbie Keane at Liverpool.
Now, even one of those meagre consolation prizes has been snatched away after Keane scurried back to his creature comforts at Tottenham Hotspur. The Dubliner had called his original switch to Anfield a “dream move” and, in a sense, he was right: the only trouble was it turned out to be one those dreams which have you waking with a start in the dead of night, sodden with sweat and shrieking like a little girl.
Keane’s struggles were not entirely of his making. He was patently a pawn in the absurdly self-destructive political game being played out by Anfield’s powerbrokers, but Rafael Benitez also had a point when he suggested that the pressure of finding his own place amid Liverpool’s marquee names had taken its toll on a player who had been the headline act at Tottenham.
Keane, a proud man, will have been crushed at those comments, but his mortification was surely matched by Trapattoni, who must now confront the grim prospect of not only having to rebuild his captain’s crumbling confidence but also extracting world-class performances from a squad which, with the possible exception of O’Shea, now has no Champions League regulars in its midst.
Trapattoni might also have felt a twinge of regret in seeing Shay Given swap the Newcastle United mad-house for the slightly more upmarket lunatic asylum of Manchester City.
The Italian would surely have preferred his number one to reside at Arsenal – a luxury penthouse in comparison – but at least he can console himself with the knowledge that Richard Dunne’s form this season guarantees Given’s reflexes will remain well-oiled.
Ireland managers have always had to extract maximum returns from minimal resources, of course, and often have done to great effect. Keane would also claim that kicking around with the also-rans during his first spell at White Hart Lane hardly hindered his progress in becoming his country’s greatest goalscorer.
Either way, a side drawn largely from the nether reaches of the Premier League should have no difficulty in disposing of Georgia on Wednesday.
The problems come when Trapattoni has to mastermind victory over a pedigree opponent. It is then that being able to call upon players hardened by regular encounters with Europe’s elite could make the decisive difference.
Keane, for one, might have gained a precious insight into the habits of Real Madrid’s Fabio Cannavaro over the course of two Champions League second round ties, knowledge that could then have been exploited in Bari on April 1st. Instead, the tardiness of his move back to north London means he will not even be able to compete in the latter stages of the Uefa Cup.
Trapattoni’s ability to find a Hartian solution to this intractable problem will not only reveal whether he is worth his eye-watering salary and gilded reputation, but also determine whether Ireland can avoid their short-term slump becoming a full-blown depression.