MONEY MATTERS in this week's Desert Classic would suggest that the European Tour have proved their point. From last year's field, Fred Couples came back to defend the title, but Greg Norman is an absentee, as are Ernie Els and Bernhard Langer. As a result, the prize fund of £650,000 is 44 per cent up on the 1995 figure, without any additional outlay by the sponsor.

All of which has to do with appearance money and the quite ludicrous situation of 12 months ago when such payments were actually greater than the official prize-money for the event. It prompted the tour to write to Dubai officials seeking a change of policy. So, Couples was the only one of the big four to return.

We understand that letters were also sent to the organisers of the Murphy's Irish Open and the German Masters, two other European events in which Norman competed last year. If Murphy's are of like mind to their brethren in Dubai, it seems that Els, whose involvement was announced in January, will be a lone entry on the premier shopping list for Druid's Glen.

Interestingly, Couples told me here this week that the sponsors there had been approached with a view to enticing him to an Irish Open debut. "It's a tournament that appeals to me but unfortunately there's a clash this year with an event I've promised to play in Seattle, where I was born," he said.

Though most of the world's top players have competed in the Irish Open over the years, its sponsors have an honourable record with regard to appearance money. Under the Carrolls banner, tournament director David Linnane repeatedly objected to the practice, describing such payments as "dead money" and urging that they be incorporated in the official prize fund. He now fills the same role for Murphy's, with no apparent change of approach Norman's appearance was tied into a huge advertising campaign.

Indeed matters overall appear to be changing for the better. As far as the Desert Classic is concerned, however, the real test has yet to come, given that this is the last year of the existing contract. It seems that the Asian Tour have been making overtures to Dubai for inclusion in their circuit and there is talk of competition from Qatar, a neighbouring Gulf state with European Tour aspirations.

Meanwhile, executive director Ken Schofield left sponsors in no doubt about his tour's policy when he said: "We're not out to disadvantage any player, we're out to maximise prize-money."

"In golf, monotony is the spice of life." Tom Kite, recently-appointed US Ryder Cup captain.

AMERICANS, as we know, are obsessed by celebrity which, of course, is a two-way street. So it is that Hollywood types delight in hanging out with professional golfers, as we saw recently in the Pebble Beach Pro-Am. And that professionals have been falling over themselves for inclusion in the new Kevin Costner movie, Tin Cup, which is scheduled to be released towards the end of this year.

It seems that cameo performances were turned in by sufficient professionals to fill a couple of pro-am fields. Among them were Fred Couples, Corey Pavin, Phil Mickelson, Lee Janzen, Gary McCord, Jerry Pate, Johnny Miller, John Mahaffey, Blaine McCallister, Andrew Magee, Howard Twitty, Mike Standly, David Ogrin and Amy Alcott.

According to Alcott, she ran into the film's director Ron Shelton (he also directed Costner in Bull Durham) on the driving range at the Riviera Club, where both are members. "I told him that if ever he had a spot where he thought might fit in, I'd be more than happy to do it," she said.

Shelton obliged by giving her a speaking part in what she describes as "a great bar scene." The woman professional concluded: "It was an interesting experience."

FOR A pleasant change, we had a tournament professional who wasn't complaining about the courtesy-car service, or his tee-off time, the clubhouse food or the quality of the greens. If fact, Colin Montgomerie was candid enough in Dubai this week to consider himself extremely fortunate in life.

"I'm 32 and I've just had three months off work," he said. "When I look at how hard my brother and father work, I realise how lucky I am. It is also brought home to me when I look around me while driving my daughter to nursery school."

Whatever they may say about the good old days, statistics would suggest that Montgomerie is quite right to be counting his blessings. For instance, it is estimated that the cost of living has just about trebled over the last 20 years, whereas the five richest purses in golf have risen more than tenfold.

Leading purses for 1975 were: 1, $300,000 Taiheiyo Masters (winner, Gene Littler $65,866); 2, $260,000 Inverrary Classic (Bob Murphy $52,000); Tied 3, $250,000 TPC (Al Geiberger $50,000), Kemper Open (Raymond Floyd $50,000), Westchester Classic (Gene Littler $50,000).

The top-five in 1995 were: 1, $3.65 million Andersen Consulting World Championship (Barry Lane $ 1 million); Tied 2. $3 million Players' Championship (Lee Janzen $540,000), US Tour Championship (Billy Mayfair $540,000); 4, $2.5 million Sun City Challenge (Corey Pavin $1 million); 5. $2.3 million Johnnie Walker World Championship (Fred Couples $550,000).

Meanwhile Montgomerie collected £999,260 as the leading money winner in Europe last year, compared with a mere £20.507 by Dale Hayes in 1975.

A RECENT incident at an English club illustrates the dangers inherent in engaging in pranks, however innocent, on the golf course. It happened during a monthly medal competition when a player, who had already completed three holes, passed behind the first tee.

There he saw his pal waiting to hit his opening drive. Whereupon he stopped forward and tapped his friend's ball a few yards off the tee, remarking with a smile: "You need all the help you can get." But the smile soon disappeared when he was later reported for practising on the course during a competition.

Later, the committee took the rather draconian action of disqualifying him for a breach of Rule 7-2. And to make matters all the more painful, he happened to have the best score of the day.

IN BRIEF: Arnold O'Connor, the newly-appointed resident professional at Elm Green Golf Centre, is giving free golf clinics for the remainder of this month. And tomorrow, the driving range will be free all day while O'Connor's free tuition will be from 10.0 am. to 11.0 am. and from 2.0 pm. to 4.0 pm.

According to leading cardiologist Maurice Neligan "golf has become a hugely popular sport and close to the hearts of many people who would benefit from improved cardiac facilities." So he is fully supporting the "Cardiac Surgical Foundation's Second All-Ireland Golf Competition," sponsored by Philips Electronics and Tipperary Crystal. Further information from 01 6685699 or fax 01 6608333 . . . Djouce Mountain GC, the nine-hole establishment near Roundwood, are offering attractive membership deals at £1,125 for a full member, £562.50 for five-day and £225 for juniors. Further information from 01 2818585 Marty Carr informs me that the seventh Annual World Invitational Father and Son Tournament will be played at Waterville on August 22nd to 25th. Further information from 01 8734244 or fax 01 8734091.

TEASER: In a fourball match, A's ball rested against the flagstick but it was not holed in terms of the definition of "holed." Instead of proceeding under Rule 17-4. A picked up the ball without marking its position. The other three players, believing that A had won the hole, picked up. Before anyone played from the next tee, a spectator pointed out that A's ball had not been holed. The players immediately asked the committee for a ruling. What would be the correct ruling?

ANSWER: A incurred a penalty stroke under Rule 20-1 when he lifted his ball without marking its position. Since A did not inform the opponents about the penalty before they picked up, A was disqualified for the hole for giving wrong information (Rule 9-2). Since A's infringement adversely affected the opponents, i.e., caused them to pick up. A's partner was also disqualified for the hole (Rule 30-3f). Thus, the opponents won the hole.