IT is a pity that Kevin Keegan will not be joining Graeme Souness and Kenny Dalglish at The Dell this afternoon when Southampton play Newcastle United. What a rare meeting of shopaholics synonymous that would have been.
Add together the transfer dealings of these three and one would probably come up with an amount sufficient to fund the millennium exhibition. Keegan's presence, moreover, would have been a living refutation of the notion that nobody spends an Englishman's money quite so quickly as a Scottish football manager.
Souness once bought and sold players at a bewildering rate, yet his total Anfield expenditure of £17.65 million now seems trifling when set alongside the £60.65 million paid out by Keegan at Newcastle. And Souness did at least win the FA Cup while suffering, the triple bypass heart operation which Keegan, for all his stress, managed to avoid.
As for Dalglish, well, against the £30 odd million it cost to build a championship winning team at Blackburn Rovers has to be set the profit of £12 million Ewood Park made when Alan Shearer moved to Newcastle. Compared to his fellow Anfield old boys, in fact, Dalglish is a model of good husbandry.
Ten years ago eyebrows were raised when he plunged into the market and spent £4.4 million bringing Beardsley, Barnes, Houghton and Aldridge to Liverpool. But that same summer the club received £3.2 million from Juventus for Ian Rush, and despite his absence Dalglish still created the last great Liverpool side.
The Dell is an appropriate place for Dalglish to pick up the threads of Premier League management, because Southampton's situation offers such a stark contrast to what has been happening at Newcastle. On Tyneside eras come up with the rations. By the Solent the rations have been relatively frugal.
While the most northerly club in the Premier League aims at a stock market flotation of £150-£200 million and a new 55,000 seater stadium, its southernmost cousin has struck a £10 million deal with some property men, and will be content with a new ground holding 31,000, double The Dell's present capacity.
Under Dalglish, Newcastle expect to win something this season, a cup if not the championship. Under Souness, Southampton's sole aim is to stay in the Premier League. Relegation now might hamper their development plans.
Either way, as one of The Dell's better known former pupils was heard to observe recently, life goes con. Shearerspeak apart, however, it is hard not to wonder what sort of life is left for the likes of Southampton following Taylor, Bosman and the hyperinflation of the transfer market.
The upward spiral of fees and players' wages, for which, as managers, Dalglish, Souness and Keegan have been partly responsible, has made it virtually impossible, has made it virtually impossible for the majority of clubs to compete with the wealthy few. Survival has become the lower orders' raison d'etre, and it is not a fun occupation.
In the summer of 1980 the Southampton manager, Lawrie McMenemy, summoned the national football media to a press conference. Nobody knew what it was about. There had been no leaks.
McMenemy kept everyone guessing for a few minutes. Then, in walked his new signing, Kevin Keegan, home from Hamburg and still England's best player. The hacks broke into spontaneous applause, and The Dell was sold out for the new season.
As a piece of showmanship the moment has seldom been equalled. The modern equivalent would involve a consortium of video entrepreneurs, a merchant bank, half a dozen sponsors, and an extraordinary meeting of shareholders. It would also be produced and directed by Sky TV.
Did something die on Tyneside this week as Newcastle supporters hung around the streets like the residents of Gotham City, wondering which joker would turn up next? Dalglish has already won more trophies than Keegan, but what about hearts? And who, of the two, would get the bigger cheer if both appeared at The Dell today?
