THERE ARE times when those of us who have been involved in sport and sporting matters for most of our lives begin to despair. Within the last few days we have observed events in tennis and soccer which have left anyone who ever believed in the idea of sportsmanship wondering what the future holds. These concerns are not, of course, restricted to these two sports, but let us for the moment look at them in the context of sporting behaviour.

Amazingly, tennis, a sport where there is no physical contact between players, has again been dragged into the mire by an American, Jeff Tarango, who behaved like a thug in the early stages of the French Open. His behaviour on court in his match against Austria's Thomas Muster was conducted in front of several thousand children who had been admitted to the tournament free courtesy of the French government.

The government were hoping to give these young people a flavour of what top-class sport was about. Instead, Mr Tarango treated them to a display of arrogance, petulance and nastiness. It was not his first performance of this kind. Two years' ago his behaviour at Wimbledon was so bad that he was banned from the following year's tournament.

He is back at Wimbledon in July and the best we can hope for is another early exit.

Realising that his chances of beating Muster this week were slim, he resorted to "gamesmanship" rather than sportsmanship and tried to upset his opponent. He aped Muster's walk and general approach to the game. It was no wonder that Muster refused to shake hands after the match.

We were also treated to the news this week that Ian Wright, who plays for Arsenal and England, has taken "counselling" in an attempt to control his anger on the field of play. Has he ever tried self control? His record is atrocious. For all his undoubted talent and for all the money he has earned, he now needs a psychologist to tell him how he should behave on the field during a match.

Here is a man of 33 who has reached the top in his chosen profession. Yet, he still doesn't realise that he is subject to the rules of the game and the interpretation of those rules by the referee. What does he want? Who is he trying to fool?

In the same week as a movingly dignified return to Munich by the survivors of the Manchester United crash in February of 1958, it seems a pity that Tarango and Wright did not retain a dignified silence.

These young men, with more money than self control, might have buttoned their lips and listened to the words of Bobby Charlton, Albert Scanlon, Jackie Blanchflower, Ron Foulkes and the other survivors of Munich as they went back there on an emotional trip. These men, who inspired others all over the world with their skills and devotion to their sport, were earning £20 a week when playing and £18 in the close season.

Some, like Blanchflower, never played again after Munich. Others like Duncan Edwards, Roger Byrne and the gifted Liam Whelan were brought home to be buried - Whelan in this city.

We had never heard of counselling in those days, nor of vast sums of money for transfers or for agents. Roger Byrne was the only playing member of the Manchester team to own a car at the time of the crash.

When people like Jeff Tarango and Ian Wright bemoan their lot and act in a way that is at variance with the very nature of sport, they do not deserve our sympathy. Their talents have opened doors for them.

In Ireland, we have a treasure trove of young people who in spite of a lack of facilities and other difficulties (including a lack of interest and support from the Government) have made their way in the sporting world. People like Barry McGuigan, Michelle Smith, Steve Collins and Ken Doherty were not born with silver spoons in their mouths. Yet they made their way to the top and have distinguished themselves across the world.

From time to time we come across people in sport who want to put some effort back into the disciplines in which they have made their names. There is now so much money in sport that it is easy for some sports people to "take their eye off the ball".

Thankfully there are others who feel obliged to give something back. Not everybody reacts in the same way to good fortune, which is why there must be a certain amount of disgust about the publicity-seeking stunt of Prince Naseem Hamed who delivered two plastic sacks of money to his parents' home recently, containing a "reported" £500,000.

We have not been told what the young people who were taken along as guests to the Muster-Tarango match in the French Open thought about Tarango's behaviour. If they were given a message to the effect that such behaviour might bring them fame and fortune, then they are being very seriously misled.

Sportspeople need to be told that they have responsibilities to young people and that a certain level of behaviour is neither recommended nor condoned and should not, therefore, be seen as acceptable or glamorous.

Young talented sportsmen and women who make vast fortunes certainly need counselling. It should be delivered by people who know what decency and sportsmanship means, who understand and who value what sport is all about.