"Osama - whoa-oa-oa, Osama whoa-oa-oa, He supports the Ar-se-nal, And he's hiding near Kabul."

- The Highbury faithful, as heard by the Guardian.

"Al Fayed - whoa-oa-oa, Al Fayed - whoa-oa-oa, He wants to be a Brit, And QPR are s**t."

- The Fulham faithful, also heard by the Guardian.