A quick look at what is happening in the world of soccer this morning.
Cyst spells trouble for us
"We are not a prisoner to names," said Arsene Wenger after Saturday's defeat to Middlesbrough. Just as well. After reading our report on the game in yesterday's paper, he'd have been wondering quite how a Cyst Fibreglass had made it into his squad for the trip to the Riverside.
As it turned out our spellchecker is no more a prisoner to names than Wenger - or else it was just trying to raise the flagging spirits of Arsenal supporters by tricking them into believing the club had invested heavily in new players during the summer. Players like Fibreglass, Alexander Help, Jose Antonio Eyes, Solo Tour and Philippe Senders, distant cousins, we're guessing, of Cesc Fabregas, Hleb, Reyes, Kolo Toure and Senderos.
The report also complimented Middlesbrough goalkeeper Mark Scrawnier for his performance in the 2-1 win - Mark Schwarzer will clearly have his work cut out getting back in the team - and casually mentioned that a woman scored for Real Madrid at the weekend, one Julia Baptist, but didn't clarify if this was yet another Sepp Blatter attempt at glamorising the game. (Julia, we can only assume, is a sister of Julio Baptista, a target for Wenger during the summer).
Incidentally, our spellchecker had several choices to "correct" Cesc Fabregas' name, one of them was Cyst Flabbergast. Phew, it opted for Cyst Fibreglass - Flabbergast would just have been silly.
PS. When we did a spell check on this scribble it offered us "Sap Blotter" for Sepp Blatter. We were tempted.
Forlan pines for Manchester
Diego Forlan is not looking for revenge when Villarreal face his old club Manchester United in the Champions League tomorrow - he is hoping to persuade Alex Ferguson to sign him again.
It took Forlan 27 games to break his scoring duck after signing for United from Independiente in January 2002, and though he went on to score only nine more during his 63-game spell at Old Trafford, the Uruguay international is convinced there is unfinished business for him in England.
"I know one day I will return to England and I wish it was at United," said Forlan, who went a long way to proving his true credentials by scoring 25 goals for Villarreal last season, and winning a share of Europe's Golden Boot with Arsenal's Thierry Henry.
"I am very happy in Spain and to be top scorer in my first season is an achievement I am proud of," he added. "But I know one day I will return to England and I wish it was at United.
"Obviously it will be a special occasion to play a team where I was at for two and half years. I still know a lot of people there but this match will only be about winning for Villarreal - nothing else will enter my mind."
Despite being denied a regular run in the United side and the goal drought, Forlan became an Old Trafford cult hero for scoring a goal against Liverpool when goalkeeper Jerzy Dudek let the ball to slip through his legs. He wanted to stay at United but eventually opted for a move to Spain and the promise of regular first-team football at Villarreal.
